No More Mr. Nice - By Renee Roszel Page 0,53
life when he saw the slim loveliness of her body.
Before he could speak, she opened her hand, displaying two condom packets. “I—” she began, then faltered.
Amazed but delighted, he stood, taking her into his arms. “Are you sure about this?”
She molded herself to him, as though it had taken all her strength to get here, and she had none left. Leaning into him, she looked up into his eyes, her expression distraught. “I have to do this,” she whispered plaintively. “I’m sorry, but I have to get you out of my system.”
He frowned down at her. “And you think having sex with me will do that?”
She bit her lower lip, her eyes glistening. “I hope so, Lucas.”
He felt a surge of irritation, but couldn’t be angry with her as she clung to him, soft, willing and naked. With a wry half-grin, he grazed a kiss along her cheek, grousing, “One day that truthfulness of yours is going to kill me.”
“I—I’m sorry, but—” Her voice broke. “I can’t go on having useless fantasies about someone I don’t want in my life.”
He felt a rush of tenderness and regret so intense it was painful. “There’s a lot of that going around,” he said, knowing he’d lost too much sleep for the same damned reason.
“When you—do it, don’t try very hard,” she pleaded faintly. “I—I don’t want to like it. I just want it over ”
He could feel her tremble in his embrace. Holy hell. Jess Glen might be a failure in the eyes of her parents and her ex-husband, but to him, she was a woman with an iron-willed honesty that beat the devil out of anything he’d experienced in his life. Her impetuous candor was unique and touching in a world of oily smiles and white-collar bull.
He wanted to hold on to that for a while, wanted to make love to her like he’d never loved any other woman. Wanted her to touch him, hold him and smile at him with the same warmth he’d seen in her smiles at the kids.
The bottom line was, he couldn’t give her the emotional commitment she needed. He’d trained himself to dominate his emotions, avoid involvements. But getting to know Jess had become a unique and troubling experience.
Sure, he’d had women come to him, wanting a quick fling. But Jess’s plaintive request wasn’t the same thing at all. Little Miss Heart-On-Her-Sleeve didn’t want a night of fun. She needed a sexual-reality check that would restore her peace of mind. And if he was honest with himself, so did he. Everybody knew the fantasy was always sweeter than the reality. It was better to find out, get it over with, and move on. But, somehow, holding Jess like this dulled the harsh edge of his self-imposed isolation in a way no other woman ever had. It was an unsettling realization.
Where was his famous, cool-headed logic? Usually a naked woman in his arms was not a problem. He simply made love to her and forgot her. So why was he hesitating? Possibly because he had a nagging suspicion that if he took her up on her offer, there’d be an emotional price tag when it was over—one that might be very, very steep.
“Lucas?” she asked, searching his face. “What is it?”
He could see raw vulnerability in her eyes, and knew she feared he was going to reject her. And to her that would be a thoroughly humiliating failure to add to what must be, for her, a lifelong list. He muffled an obscenity in her sweet-smelling hair. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he was far from sure that having sex with her was the wisest route for either of them.
Against his better judgment, his fingers roamed downward, along the silky contours of her back, to cup a tempting hip. He groaned, going hot and rigid with desire. Abruptly, deciding not to think or analyze, he lifted her into his arms. “Dammit, Jess,” he whispered gruffly. “You never make anything easy.”
Wrapping her arms about his neck, she offered sadly, “I’m sorry—”
“Quit saying that!” he growled. Looking around the sparsely furnished room, he mused aloud, “There’s no comfortable place in here to make love.”
“That’s good,” she whispered, bleakly. “Uncomfortable is good.”
He bit off another curse. “If you want uncomfortable, how’s the floor?”
She nodded. “Probably as uncomfortable as any place.”
He shook his head at her and lowered her where they stood. “At least let me spread out this robe.”
She removed her arms from about him and watched