No Greater Love - Eris Field Page 0,65

is the only grandparent they have. We mustn’t shut her out.”

“It is going to take time for me to learn to trust her,” Pieter said brusquely.

Janan hurried to change the subject. “I wonder what one wears to a civil wedding ceremony,” she said as she looked down at the black dress she was wearing.

“Do you remember that afternoon when I said that you should wear regal colors?”

She nodded, remembering his long fingers circling her wrist as he described the band of the sleeve and then those fingers tracing the line of her throat and outlining the neckline of the dress that he had designed in his mind. “Yes, I remember. There was to be a mauve scarf around the shoulders and the dress, a glowing aubergine. You said that it should be a violet so intense that it’s almost black.”

“While I was in the hospital, I whiled away the hours when I was isolated sketching dresses and other things for you?” He rocked her gently in his arms. “There is one that you might like to use for your wedding dress.”

“In violet?” She plucked at the sleeve of her black serge dress.

“Yes. I will have the sketches delivered to you this afternoon.” The feeling of burning desire that he had been struggling to suppress threatened to overcome him. “Janan, I want you so much. I want to hold you and feel your beautiful body beneath mine again. You know that, don’t you? But not here, not in Carl’s house.” His body trembled as he stepped back from her. “In my house. In my bed.” He smiled as he thought of the replica of the Inn’s tree-house bedroom that he had created in the master bedroom of Maarten’s distinguished old home. “I want to know you again, all of you, and I want to wake up and find you there beside me. I don’t know how much time we will have, but I don’t want to be separated again, ever.” He took the ruby ring from his pocket and slipped it onto the ring finger of her right hand where it blazed in the dark room. “My Great-Uncle Maarten gave this ring to his love, to Mei Ling, and she wore it as an engagement ring and a wedding ring. It would please me very much, my dearest love, if you would wear it now and forever.”

She had waited so long to hear him say he loved her but one thought would not go away as she touched the radiant ring. What about the babies? He had talked before about doing what was best for the babies, doing the right thing, but he had never said how he felt about them. She stared at the priceless ruby and thought of the two precious infants who depended on her. She was the only one in the world responsible for their well-being. She had to ask the question that might destroy her chance of happiness. Taking a step backward out of his arms, she asked, “What about the babies?”

Pieter bowed his head. “When I saw them, just minutes after they were born, I thought that I had seen a miracle—your two beautiful babies.” He lifted his head and looked straight into her eyes. “At that moment, I thought that Carl was the father and I wanted to kill him. I felt as though I had been castrated, cheated out of my manhood.” His voice trembled. “And then when I went to Carl’s house to pick up my mother, I saw Carl’s face and knew that he could never have been the father. I knew then that those babies were mine! My babies who would have Carl listed as their legal father. It just about destroyed me to think of what I had lost. I accused Carl and my mother of robbing me of my children. I said that I would never forgive them for not letting me know.”

“I’m so sorry,” Janan whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you but Carl could not reach you and I knew that their lives were in danger unless I stopped working and rested.” She wiped the tears from her face. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“I am the one who must beg your forgiveness. You and Carl did what was necessary to protect them.” He frowned slightly. “My brain tells me that the name of the father filed on the birth certificates should make no difference to me, but the thought of Carl’s name listed as the father