No Commitment (Capital Kingsmen #1) - Lisa Suzanne Page 0,87
she gets used to her new digs, or it could be from the fact that I haven’t been drinking my nightly scotch.
I’m not as lonely with Dani and Luna living here, but having Dani down the hall isn’t the same as having her in my bed.
I want her in my bed.
But I don’t think it’s really any of those things.
I think it’s the fact that my parents are on their way over for dinner and I have a gig later tonight.
My girls have only been here a couple weeks, but we’ve settled into a nice little routine. Dani and I each have a monitor in our room, and sometimes I watch Luna as she sleeps peacefully. Other times I’m awakened in the middle of the night with her cries.
The first time it happened, I was in a deep sleep and I had no idea what was going on until I realized Dani was already in there getting her back down. I watched Dani on the monitor as she quietly rocked little Luna back to sleep. She rubbed her back and calmed her down as she sang her a sweet lullaby, and some feeling inside of me that I’d never had before seemed to kick in.
It was an overwhelming sense of love.
I wish I could’ve been there for every second. All of it. The morning sickness and the sympathy pains and watching her stomach stretch with new life. Holding her leg up as she gave birth and being there for the zombie-like first few days and nights. The aftermath of getting used to having a newborn and watching her grow from a baby to a toddler. Hearing her first cry, seeing her first smile, watching as her chunky baby hands grasped one of my fingers. Taking her to her doctor’s check-ups and panicking at her first runny nose.
I missed all of it, but Dani was there. And I know from watching her on the tiny screen that she was magnificent.
She is magnificent. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, something I still firmly believe despite everything, and when I see the way her daughter looks at her, I know that whoever up there chooses parents for children chose right. Luna is the luckiest little girl in the world that she has Dani for a mom.
I’m still learning, but I’m doing my best.
I’ve largely avoided being alone with Dani because of the pure temptation she represents. Is two weeks enough time? I’ve given it a good effort, and tomorrow will be the start of press junkets and public appearances and all the shit that comes with releasing an album, and then in a few weeks, we leave for our tour.
Part of me wants to say goodbye in the way our bodies best know how to communicate...but I guess the other part of me knows it’ll be better to hold out until her divorce is finalized. Then we can be with each other, free and clear of the past. It just feels like it’ll be our fresh start.
And tonight I’m finally introducing Luna to my parents. I have a gig at ten, but they’re coming at five. Dani is cooking dinner—her famous spaghetti and meatballs again, since it’s my favorite meal of hers so far—and she’s nervous, too.
Nerves from both her parents seem to be making Luna a little cranky.
I haven’t told my parents why I invited them for dinner. Between getting to know Luna, band meetings, fending off my feelings for Dani, and ramping up to release an album, I’ve been fairly preoccupied. But I wanted to do this before all the craziness starts up tomorrow, and so I invited them over.
I pick Luna up to help Dani while she moves around the kitchen, and that’s when I hear the knock on the door.
Dani’s wild eyes meet mine, and she wipes her hands on a towel and smooths down her hair. “Do I look okay?”
I offer her a small smile. “You’re beautiful. You’re always beautiful.”
The wildness in her eyes softens a bit, and it calms me down, too.
We walk together, the three of us, toward the door my parents stand behind. I draw in a deep breath then open it with a smile. “Come on in,” I say.
My mom’s brows dip and my dad looks surprised when they see me holding a baby in my arms.