No Commitment (Capital Kingsmen #1) - Lisa Suzanne Page 0,62

a kid, or the world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”

I don’t have a defense for that one. It’s rare for anyone to catch me speechless, but if anyone could do it, it’s Tommy. I glance at Dustin, the guy who’s in the closest situation to mine since he’s got a kid on the way. “Is that how you feel?”

He shrugs. “Not really, but you’ve taken the spotlight more times than I have. People know you because of the reality show. People know Tommy and Brett because of their reputations. I fade into the background.”

“So I’m just...never supposed to have kids, then?” I shoot back. “Because I’m a celebrity? Because of my reputation in the media? Because I like to drink and I’ve dabbled with drugs before? Because I’m a rock star?” I put air quotes around the last two words because it always feels strange to refer to myself that way.

Tommy shrugs. “I didn’t say that. But before you get pissed at her, think about what she was doing. Think about what’s best for that kid. If it’s you, then great. But if it’s not...I don’t know. Just think about it.”

I study him for a beat as I try to figure out if he has some ulterior motive here. He just told me not so long ago that I’m finally back to my old self with Dani back in my life. And now he’s essentially defending her—which isn’t something I saw coming.

“God, we’ve all had paternity cases from gold diggers through the years, right?” Brett says. “Never the reverse like this. At least you know she doesn’t give a shit about your money if she kept it from you.”

“Truth,” Tommy says. “So what are you going to do?”

“I have no idea,” I admit. “I’m not even on the kid’s birth certificate. I want to fix that. I want to be part of her life. I want to provide for her. But I don’t know if I can look at Dani the same way ever again. How can I trust her when she was able to look me straight in the eye and keep up such a huge lie?”

Nobody has an answer for that.

“What’s her name?” Dustin asks softly.

“Luna,” I say, and it’s weird that she has a name that I didn’t give her...but it’s perfect for her.

“Moon,” Tommy says.

My brows dip. “Huh?”

“Luna means moon. Like lunar,” he explains. “Relating to the moon.”

My chest tightens. The moon was our thing. There’s something beautiful and romantic about the moon. When we’d get lonely because I was on tour, we’d both look up at the moon at the same time and have that feeling deep inside like we were together even though distance separated us.

The thought makes me feel a certain way, but I’m not ready to identify it yet.

Did she choose that name because of our lunar connection?

“Dani’s coming back here after she gets Luna down for a nap. I forgot about this meeting, to be honest,” I admit.

“Do what you need to do,” Tommy says. “We’ll hold down the fort and fill you in.”

I shoot him a grateful look. “Thank you.” It’s a simple gesture, but it means a lot...particularly after our ups and downs over the last two years—fuck, the last two months, even.

“I, uh, don’t want you to feel like the band has taken anything away from you,” he says a little awkwardly.

I let that idea roll around my mind for a beat. “I did. For a long time, I blamed the band for a lot that was wrong in my life. But it turns out there was another person pulling strings I didn’t even know about. I’m to blame, too, but CK has given me so much more than it’s taken away. Like you three motherfuckers.”

It’s the most sentimental we get. I know that they’re here for me in whatever way I need them to be. They’re my family. My brothers. They’ll help me look at the scenario from every angle, and they’ll help me arrive at whatever conclusion I need to—whether it’s because I’m asking for their advice or because they’re giving me the space I need to make my own decisions.

And after everything we’ve been through, I’m incredibly grateful for that.

CHAPTER 32

DANIELLE

“What’s going on, babe?” Diana asks me.

I’m shoveling in a quick sandwich even though I’m not hungry at all. I just got Luna down for her nap and I need to get back to Tyler’s. I’m nervous about what exactly he wants to