No Commitment (Capital Kingsmen #1) - Lisa Suzanne Page 0,4

no other choice. I take a sip of black coffee with whiskey in it, and it tastes like dirty ass.

But the whiskey provides a little salvation, and the coffee provides a little caffeine. I try calling Dani one more time.

No answer.

It’s ten here, nine where she is, and she has never not answered when I’ve called at nine her time.

I try another text.

Me: I know you’re upset about the show. There’s just a lot about this career you don’t know, and if you’d give me a chance to explain, you might understand.

She might understand that while she’s right about being a man who can make my own decisions, I still have to make those decisions in the best interest of the guys I share a career with. My opinion doesn’t always matter when there are three other voices in the room.

And I don’t disagree with them. Being on this show could be great exposure for us. It’ll make me look like a bit of a dick, but I think there are ways to make me come out looking less like an asshole and more like a good guy. If I admit why I’m there before I really ruin someone’s chances, for example. Or if I find another contestant who I can buddy up to so people can see the real me. And even if I can be candid about how I’m in love with a girl who won’t talk to me in whatever private interviews they’ll surely make me do.

The production is coming together fast, and I need to be in Los Angeles the day after tomorrow. Because we have a show tonight and tomorrow’s a travel day followed by press and final tour details when we get back home, I won’t have time to stop in Milwaukee to see Dani before I’ll be locked in a house for thirty days without my phone or any way to get in touch with her.

I need to tell her how I feel.

I wanted to do it in person, which is why I haven’t yet. The words almost slipped out a few nights ago when we were laughing about the backflip she tried to do on the beach as a follow-up to mine.

I love you.

But I didn’t say it, and now she won’t talk to me.

Is it really that big a deal? This is my career. It’s my livelihood. It’s my life. Anger sets in as I realize it’s not up to her, and if she’s going to get so angry over one stupid thing, then as much as I’d held onto hope for years and years...maybe we’re not meant for each other. Touring musicians need someone a hell of a lot more understanding than she’s being in their lives, that’s for damn sure.

I don’t have time to dwell on it. It’s a gig day, and once we’re at the venue, we have sound checks and band meetings and practice and meet and greets.

I don’t get a text back from her all day, and it isn’t until after the show when one is waiting for me on my phone.

And it’s a real treat.

Dani: No commitment. Right? That works both ways, so you do what you have to do.

Well if that doesn’t push me straight into old habits, I’m not sure what does.

CHAPTER 3

DANIELLE

TWO YEARS AGO

Is it really that big a deal?

That’s the question that kept me up all night, and the answer I keep coming back to is yes. It is that big a deal.

He didn’t have to snap back at me. He didn’t have to be a jerk about it. We’re not even technically dating. If something like this could tear us apart this early on, I can’t imagine what a life with him would actually be like.

I allowed myself to dream about it when things were going well, but this is more than just a roadblock.

A baby will certainly change my life, but it’ll change his, too. And that’s why I don’t think I can tell him.

He absolutely deserves to know. But now I’m at a point where I’ll have to wait another month to see him to tell him in person. I’m sure he’s going through his own stressors about having to compete on this show, but he seemed pretty adamant about doing it. What good would telling him about the baby do when he’s going to be locked away in some house for a month?

Why would I do that to him? So he could sit and stew about it