No Commitment (Capital Kingsmen #1) - Lisa Suzanne Page 0,17

I didn’t even know well enough to know if he wanted kids, someone who would be off on tour or locked up on a reality show or out of the picture, someone who made decisions for three other men before himself and me, someone who I wasn’t entirely sure I was compatible with based on how our first fight panned out...or I could make the logical and safe choice in Ford, someone who was ready to give me the world, the kind of guy who would stand by me, attend doctor’s appointments with me, hold my hand through it all, and be by my side every step of the way.

Luna was on her way. I had to take logical and safe over the gamble.

What kind of life would that have been for Luna if I’d chosen differently? For me? She’d just be meeting her daddy for the first time today.

Instead, she loves the only man she’s ever known as her daddy with her whole heart. Her first word was dada. The first person she waved to? Dada. The first person she pointed at? Dada. The first person she smiled at? Dada.

So what if they don’t share blood? He’s been a father to her in every way that matters while her actual biological father was off galivanting across Europe without a care in the world. Though I guess the circles around his haunted eyes tell a slightly different story.

I accept my own fault in this since I never told him. I live with those sins every day. I’m not a selfish person by nature, but when it comes to the basic needs of my child, I refuse to compromise. I did what I needed to do to give her a father who would be present in her life—and in mine.

“Okay,” Ford finally says. “I know you’re right. I just didn’t expect to see him here today.”

“I know.” Neither did I. “It’ll be okay,” I lie. The truth is I don’t know if it’ll be okay.

He tells me he loves me, and I say it back, and we hang up. He has work to do, and I have thinking to do.

Tyler is in town.

He came looking for me.

I have no idea what his schedule is like, whether he’ll be back overseas by tomorrow or back to California or if he has time here. I don’t know if he just wants to see me or if he has some fatherly instinct and he somehow knows.

I don’t know what the hell I’m doing as my fingers seem to take on a mind of their own. I unblock his number.

I stare at the last couple messages he sent me. I may have blocked him, but I never deleted his texts.

And now, two years later, a fire still burns in me...a fire he lit.

And it’s with that thought that my fingers type the words. I click the send button before I lose my nerve. Before I change my mind.

Me: What are you doing in Milwaukee?

CHAPTER 10

TYLER

I stare out the window as I self-medicate with the bottle of cheap scotch I ordered from room service. They charged me over a hundred bucks for a single bottle of the cheap stuff, a steep price if I’ve ever seen one—especially since I can literally see a liquor store across the street from this hotel—but it’s worth the price to sit here and have it delivered.

Prices used to matter to me. There were days when I pinched every penny, when I ate ramen because it was cheap, when I drank whatever scotch was the cheapest, which led to my affinity for cheap scotches.

A lot of shit used to matter to me.

It doesn’t anymore.

My flight back to LA is booked for tomorrow.

If I make it, I make it. If I don’t...well, then I guess I’ll still be in Milwaukee.

I don’t know if anything really matters anymore.

I held onto something for two whole years while she was busy packing us up and tossing us out with the trash.

Three nights. I get it. That was all we spent together, and it shouldn’t have been enough to make me feel such a deep, dark hole because she’s married now.

But it was enough.

Our relationship spans back to our teenage years. We were close friends back then, and we started getting close again as I traveled the country with CK.

We talked every day, so even though we weren’t together in person, I got to know her on a completely different level. Maybe an even deeper one