The Ninth Inning (The Boys of Baseball #1) - J. Sterling Page 0,43
the shots. But Logan had pushed them in front of me, and I’d still wanted to punish Cole.
“Because I know him better than I know you.” The words slipped out of my intoxicated mouth. “And I don’t trust you.”
“Find your own way home then,” he said before slamming the car door and walking off into the dark.
I pulled out my phone and called Lauren.
Going Out of My Mind
Cole
I stood in the front entry of the baseball house and waited for Logan to come back. I knew he would. Staying away when he could poke the bear more would prove to be too tempting for him. He had to come back to see what his handiwork had accomplished. To see how far he’d pushed me. To see just how far I’d cracked.
I couldn’t stop pacing. I paced from the front door to my bedroom door. Twelve steps. My door to the kitchen—nineteen steps. Then, I’d turn around and do it all over again. When my teammate Brandon asked me what the hell I was doing, I shot him a glare that made whatever smart-ass remark he was about to say next die in his throat.
Mac and Chance had deemed me less of a threat apparently since Mac was attached to the redhead’s face again, and Chance was nowhere to be found. I pulled out my phone, tempted to text Christina and make sure she was okay and home safe. Somewhere in there, I planned on apologizing as well, but all I could see right now was Logan’s hand on her ass and the look he had given me when he put it there.
And while I was ninety-nine percent convinced that Logan was doing this for sport, that one percent ate away at me. What if I’m wrong? What if Logan really does like her and my ego is playing tricks on me? Haven’t I been the one to let her go over and over again? How could be so stupid for so long?
The more time that passed, the more pissed at myself I became.
Pissed that I’d ever let her go.
Pissed that I had convinced myself all this time that I never felt anything real for her.
Pissed that I’d pushed her into someone else’s arms.
Pissed that I had no one to blame but myself for it.
Pissed that I’d wrongfully assumed she’d keep waiting for me.
Every single year, the two of us would circle back to one another, hanging out off and on before I pulled my usual bullshit and pushed her away. I think a fucked up part of me thought I’d never be able to push her far enough that she wouldn’t come back.
I could see everything I’d done to her so clearly now, and it stung. I’d given her scraps of my attention, little bits on a fishing line that kept her hooked. If I thought she had moved too far away, I’d give the line a little tug, and she’d be right back in my arms like she’d never left. Looking back, I wasn’t proud of how I’d treated her, but I had been too arrogant to see what I was truly doing. And too stupid to put all the pieces together at the time. I’d never had a solid relationship to look up to or build from, so I didn’t know how to do one right. It was no excuse, but it still felt relevant. Maybe she’ll understand?
My thoughts were interrupted as Logan walked through the door, his chest puffed out, and I stormed to him, ready for a fight. “Where is she?”
He tossed me a go fuck yourself look. “Home. Apparently, she had too much to drink. Who knew?”
It hit me then—Christina’s beer-only policy. Logan had known about it.
“You asshole,” I said before charging him and slamming him up against the front door.
The sound of his body hitting the wood echoed in the house, and before I knew it, our teammates were between us, splitting us up and yelling for us to stop.
“Hit me. I dare you to fucking hit me!” Logan yelled, baiting me.
“Coach has a no-fighting policy. He’ll bench you,” Chance was screaming in my face. “He will bench you, and you know it, Cole. He doesn’t make exceptions,” he ground out, his arms gripping my shoulders as he worked to hold me back.
I pushed Chance to the side as I screamed around him, “You knew!” I pointed a finger at Logan, who was being held back by Mac and Brandon.