Nine Lives - Danielle Steel Page 0,46

It was part of his appeal, wanting to believe in the impossible with him. He leaned gently toward her, and kissed her. It brought back a flood of memories, as though it had last happened yesterday, like a perfume she had forgotten and suddenly remembered. She could recall perfectly how he tasted now, how he kissed her, and how badly she had wanted him, but still managed to resist him. She didn’t want to stop kissing him, and they didn’t until they needed to come up for air.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Yes, you did.” She smiled at him, still out of breath. “You were never a liar before.”

“Okay, so I meant to do it. I’ve been wanting to kiss you all week.”

“Me too,” she admitted. She had never lied to him either. “But we can’t. It doesn’t make sense anyway. Your life is here, all over Europe and Asia, and mine is in Lake Forest, a million miles from the life you lead.”

“There’s nothing there for you anymore,” he reminded her, in a final attempt to hold on to her, although he knew he couldn’t.

“Aden will come home for holidays,” she said stubbornly.

“For a few years, until he gets a job somewhere else. Come back, Maggie. I need you. We still love each other.” What they had was a powerful attraction, but she wasn’t convinced it was love.

“There’s no room in your life for someone like me,” she said, “and you know it too. You want me to give you stability, so you can turn my life upside down. That’s not fair.” He didn’t answer her then, he just kissed her again, and she could feel all her resistance evaporate. She knew that if she didn’t get out of his car, she would wind up in bed with him before the night was over and she’d regret it later. She kissed him one last time, and then without saying a word, she opened the door and got out, and he didn’t stop her. They had entered a time warp for a week, in Monte Carlo and London, but now she had to let go and return to her real life, alone. She waved to him and disappeared into the hotel without looking back. He wanted to rush in after her, but he didn’t. He knew that now, if he truly loved her, he had to let her go. And she knew it too. He drove away, blinded by tears. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He knew for certain this time that there would never be anyone like her in his life again.

Chapter 8

Traveling west in daylight hours, Maggie was awake for most of the flight from London to Chicago. She ate lunch, watched a movie, and closed her eyes for a while, but she kept thinking of Paul no matter how hard she tried not to. He was like background music in her head. She remembered each time she had seen him in Monte Carlo, the time they’d spent on the boat, and every moment they’d spent together in London. The vacation in San Francisco, Rome, and Paris had been peaceful and productive. She’d discovered cities she had always wanted to see. It had freed her and made her feel strong and independent. She had found her own footing again. It was the first thing she had done without Brad in almost twenty years, and she had proven to herself that she could. She had managed perfectly on her own, and even enjoyed it. It cleared her head and lifted her spirits.

But London and Monte Carlo were different, because she ran into Paul. It had seemed fun and exciting at first to see him after so long, and revive cherished memories of her past, before Brad was even part of her life. It was like revisiting her youth, and she could no longer tell if what she felt for him was the echo of a distant time rekindled, or if it was what she felt for him now. The memories and the present reality were hard to discern and untangle. Every time she looked at him she saw the boy she had loved at eighteen. He hardly seemed any different now, other than the extravagant trappings that surrounded him, which meant nothing to her. She cared about Paul, both the boy and the man.

There was no option to go back to Brad now. She loved all of him without