from my heart. Each painful tug erased his touch. This was my reality, and I didn’t even have a shot to numb myself to any of it. I was stupid to have forgotten.
“Then I’ll go,” Jax announced.
Jax hated zero G. And he could barely cram himself into a space suit.
“I’ve been outside a lot more often than you have. I’ll be faster and more efficient.” I winced. Stitches sucked. “Really, Jax, this is just a scratch. Fiona’s hurting me more than the bullet did.”
Fiona half looked up, giving me the hairy eyeball.
“There’s about a hundred percent chance those bounty hunters are on our tail right now,” I said. “We’ll lose them with a short-range jump to Flyhole that won’t take much power. Then Jax—you squeeze us into some supply line or other, like we’ve been there all along. I’ll go out and sweep for bugs and then get new stickers up, hopefully before the hunters can locate us again with any precision.”
The hunters or Shade. There was no forgetting he was one of them.
A sharp ache lanced my chest. I scowled. I wanted to pummel him.
“I don’t have those coordinates set,” Miko said.
“Then do it,” I told her, my whole body clenching from another prick. We needed to be anonymous again—now.
I glanced down. How big is this scratch? Crap. Six stitches so far.
Fiona tugged, knotted, cut. “Done.”
Thank the Powers. I blew out a breath.
I sucked one in again when she slapped on a bandage with her full hand, pressing hard. She was punishing me for scaring the shit out of her and putting us all in danger.
“I’m sorry,” I said to everyone.
It was Jaxon who finally spoke. “He had us all fooled, Tess.”
I nodded, pretending that a lump wasn’t rising in my throat again, nearly choking me, and that my eyes weren’t burning hot. I blinked a few times. I wasn’t going to cry over that jackass. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
“Get us to Flyhole.” The order came out gruffly, but it was the best I could do without breaking down. “I’m going to suit up.”
“Careful of your stitches,” Fiona warned. “Need help?”
It was complicated to suit up alone, but I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone looking at my body right now. This body had betrayed me, led me down the wrong path. I could still feel Shade all over me, inside me. Smell him on my skin.
I shuddered, sickened on too many levels to sort it all out. Trusting Shade had been one of the stupidest things I’d ever done, and my willful blindness had put the people I loved in danger. I’d ignored the risk to them, and to myself, because I’d wanted him. It was as simple and as terrible as that.
I hated my body right now. I hadn’t deserved the lash marks on my back when they’d happened. Now, I felt like I’d earned them, and they were the only part of me that I could stand.
I shook my head, finally answering Fiona. I sounded almost normal when I spoke, probably surprising us all. “I’ll change on my own. But thanks, Fi. Thanks for everything.”
She smiled. “I love shooting things up.”
I smiled weakly in return. Yeah, she did.
“Thanks, everyone.” I glanced down, hiding the damn sheen that was blurring my vision again. “Thanks for having my back.”
Without looking at me, Jax grumbled something and just kept steering us up and toward the Dark.
No one else answered. We didn’t need to thank each other, but I still did.
“He fixed the ship.” Miko looked over from where she sat with her old, beat-up coordinates book, looking pensive when she should have been punching in numbers as if the hand she still had depended on it—which it probably did. “Shade, I mean. Don’t you think that’s weird?”
I shrugged, not answering. I didn’t understand anything he’d done.
“Shit. I almost forgot. Check your tablet,” Miko said. “A message came through last night from Starway 8.”
Dread plowed into me. Time was dangerously tight with the hunters after us, but I needed to look now in case the message told us we had to figure out a way to avoid a quarantine blockade around Sector 8.
I reached for the tablet and woke it up, quickly accessing my messages. This one was from Surral.
Things are worse. Unless you’re absolutely certain you can help, do not risk yourselves. No military quarantine yet, but it could happen at any time.