now if you want,” said Robert. I’d completely forgotten about him. “It’s not far by car.”
“Would you really?” Mrs. Tham said. “That would be so kind.”
Sick with dread, I ran upstairs to pack, leaving her to ply him with questions. Once in the car, we sat silent. The one consolation was that Robert’s driving improved when he wasn’t talking.
After a while, he said, “If it’s very bad, we can send her to hospital. The district hospital in Batu Gajah is a bit farther than the Ipoh General Hospital, but she might get better treatment.”
“Why?”
“Because my father’s on the board of the Batu Gajah District Hospital.”
I hadn’t known that. Rich people lived in a different world, one where jobs and recommendations came easily. If I were cleverer about things I might be able to get better care for my mother, but I could hardly think. In the past few weeks, the people around me had been struck by a death, a horrible accident, and now a miscarriage.
Shin would say it was ridiculous and besides, who knew how many other incidents had occurred in this area in the same time frame? That poor woman I’d read about in the newspaper who’d been killed by a tiger, for example. Not everything could be attributed to fate, though there were others who would surely tell me to buy a charm against evil spirits. I sat in Robert’s big car, twisting my hands in my lap and trying not to cry as we rushed on into the darkness.
23
Batu Gajah
Friday night, June 19th
It’s cold. So terribly cold that Ren thinks his heart will stop. The bones of his skull ache. The water feels thick, like runny gelatin or clotted blood. Shaking his head like a dog, Ren peers at the far shore. Yi is running up and down frantically, pure terror on his face as he mouths: Get out of the water!
He starts paddling in earnest. It’s not so cold if he swims, or perhaps his arms and legs are simply becoming numb. The farther he goes, the more the pain recedes and Ren has the funny feeling that he’s shedding his body. Something scrapes his leg. Gulping water, Ren looks down to see a row of gaping teeth and a glazed eye that floats past under his foot. A dead crocodile. It rolls, drifting deep in the river current, white belly showing for an instant, then drops away into the darkness. There are other things, too, deep in the river. Dead fish, dead worms, dead leaves. Ren gives a cry of disgust.
Panicking now, arms and legs flailing. The current drags at him. His head goes under again and he sees more shapes. A Chinese man drifts by, neck hanging at an awkward angle as though it’s been broken. A young Tamil woman, mouth open but eyes mercifully closed. No body, only her serene, decapitated head. Ren is crying, struggling. Bursting with terror, water searing his lungs.
A chunk of wood hits him. Gasping, Ren surfaces and makes an empty grab at it. As it floats out of reach he sees that Yi has launched it. Another log drifts towards Ren. This one is bigger and as it smashes into him, he sees Yi’s despairing face. Go back!
* * *
And he does. He does.
Ren is lying facedown on the floor of his room. His hands flatten out like a gecko on a ceiling only there’s nowhere to fall, he’s already at the bottom. After a while, he starts to cry.
The door opens. It’s Ah Long, his face creased with worry.
“Aiya! Are you hurt?”
Dizzy, Ren sits up. Ah Long feels his forehead. “I checked on you earlier—you had a high fever.”
“What time is it?” Ren’s voice is a dry croak. Ah Long wipes his face with a warm towel.
“About five in the morning.”
“It was so cold.” The memory of the freezing water makes the hairs on his arms stand up.
“That was the fever.”
Ren realizes that he feels fine. No chills, no burning weakness. He swings his legs experimentally. The dream recedes, like water flowing backwards, and most wonderful of all, his cat sense, that invisible, electric pulse which tells him about the world, is back, humming quietly in the background.
Ah Long wrinkles his brow, studying him. He looks like a grizzled old monkey. “You were shouting a lot. Who were you talking to?”
“My brother. My twin brother who died.”
Ah Long squats on his haunches so that his face is almost level with Ren’s.