I should tell my mother we’re all right.” The news had probably leaked all over Batu Gajah and possibly even up to Ipoh by now. Besides, the hospital made me deeply uneasy, though I didn’t want to mention this to Shin in case he worried. When I gazed out of the window, I could see the distant roof where Koh Beng had tried to kill me.
“Then I’ll go home with you,” said Shin.
* * *
Of course, they wouldn’t let him go, claiming Shin’s arm needed more X-rays tomorrow morning. They tried to keep me as well, though I demurred. It seemed less about our well-being than an attempt to keep things under control. The medical director had already come by, assuring us that the hospital had only the highest standards and was deeply sorry for the actions of an employee who’d had a nervous breakdown (that would be Koh Beng, I presumed), and we could only nod and promise not to talk about it until the police had cleared things up.
Matron herself came to see me off. Her tanned, angular face was thoughtful as we waited for the car that the hospital had provided to drive me back. “So what are the two of you—siblings or engaged to be married?”
I looked down. “We’re stepsiblings, but we’re not really engaged.”
“Sounds complicated,” she said, not unkindly. “I’ll keep your secret, if you like. Good luck.” She shook my hand. I liked her firm, no-nonsense grip. “You seem like a smart girl, and sensible, too. If you don’t want to rely on a man, we might have space for you.”
I thanked her, wondering why I wasn’t as thrilled as I might have been. Perhaps the hospital had instructed her to offer me a job, to keep things quiet. I was tired. So tired that all I wanted to do was close my eyes, though I was afraid that if I did so, I’d find myself back in that dark river. And this time, there’d be no coming back.
* * *
The next few days were quiet. My mother and stepfather were surprisingly subdued about the whole affair. The hospital had already notified them in the blandest of terms: an unfortunate accident with a mentally disturbed individual. And of course, they would cover all medical fees and pay Shin’s salary for the rest of the summer, though he was excused from duties. Although my mother exclaimed over my cuts, she was relieved that my face wasn’t marked.
“A girl’s face is so important,” she said as she helped change the dressing on my side. “Imagine how upset Robert would be!”
“What does Robert have to do with this?”
I shouldn’t have said that. Her face fell and that timid look appeared. “You’re still friends, aren’t you?”
“As much as we ever were.” Which wasn’t much, but I didn’t have the heart to say so. I looked down, suddenly anxious. “Did you manage to make this month’s payment?”
I hadn’t given her quite enough money to cover the loan, but to my surprise, she said, “You mustn’t worry about that anymore. Your stepfather paid it.”
“All of it?”
She hesitated. “No. Shin gave me some money to help pay it down.” I understood, without her saying a word, that it must have been terrifying to confess even that reduced amount to my stepfather.
“Was he furious?” I stared at her arms, her narrow wrists. She was wearing loose sleeves; I couldn’t tell if there was anything amiss.
“He had a right to be.”
“And? Did he do anything else?” Fury and despair were rising in me, choking my throat.
My mother looked down at the floor. I realized this was deeply humiliating for her. “I begged him. I cried so hard that I fainted.” At my look of horror, she said quickly, “It was actually a good thing. It worried him, coming after the miscarriage. I suppose he realized it wasn’t worth it. And I’m fine.” A grimace. “He made me swear not to touch a mahjong tile again.”
Catching my anxious eye, my mother gave me a warning look. This time, it was none of my business. I supposed that the scare over my mother’s miscarriage might have softened my stepfather up. Made him realize that he might be widowed again. Still, it was a tremendous relief. That debt had been hanging like an anvil over our heads. My mother smiled weakly. “Perhaps I should have told him from the start. I’m sure Robert would be milder about things like that.”