Night Spinner (Night Spinner #1) - Addie Thorley Page 0,30
through my skin. “I was barely able to restrain myself,” I admit.
Ghoa gently moves my injured arm and taps the stone embedded in my collarbone. “Have a little faith—in the moonstone and in yourself.”
“I stopped having faith in myself when I massacred innocent merchants. Why not go yourself? Or send Varren or any member of Kalima?”
“Because Temujin and his Shoniin are always on guard. They avoid anyone who remotely resembles a warrior. But someone like you …”
Someone hideous and broken and despised. Ghoa doesn’t say these words, of course, but she might as well. They pound my ears like war drums.
“He saved you,” she presses, as if it means something. “It would be natural for him to recruit you. No hunting required.”
We need you. Find us.
I peer at Ghoa through the corners of my eyes. She was at the bottom of the palace steps. She couldn’t have heard. And I’m certain Temujin has no intention of keeping his word anyway. What need would his rebel group have for a weak, washed-up warrior? “He was only trying to rile the king. It had nothing to do with me specifically.”
“I don’t care why Temujin saved you.” Ghoa sheathes her blade then smooths a curling wisp of hair from my forehead. “I only care that he did. He’s rescued two other criminals in a similar manner—one from the stockade and the other from a prison wagon—but both vanished before we could convert them to our cause. This time, we’ll be ready. All you have to do is act like a grateful, eager recruit. Then, when Temujin welcomes you into his band, you will lead us to their hideout.”
“But—”
“You have to accept,” she blurts. “It’s more imperative than ever that I capture the boy swiftly, and the best way to do that is to send someone to infiltrate his ranks. Please, En.” Ghoa’s voice catches, and that weakness, that wobble, splits my chest down the center. She twines her fingers through my penance robe as if it’s the last shred of rope and she’s dangling over oblivion. “You can do this. I need you to do this. For me and for Ashkar.”
I gape into her bloodless face and pleading eyes. I have never seen Ghoa this unnerved. Not once in ten years. And it sends a cold rush of fear snaking through my bones. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“We’re losing,” she whispers.
“What do you mean, we’re losing? Losing what?”
“The war! Ashkar! The Unified Empire! All of it! This is about so much more than my position. The Zemyans are over the border. They’ve taken eight cities already. And with Temujin weakening our ranks and dividing our efforts, we’re poised to lose even more ground. I am failing,” she grinds out. “Failing my king, my country, my family. Which is why I need your assistance. I need you to save me as I have saved you. It will benefit you, too,” she adds. “If you succeed, I’ll convince the Sky King to forgive your indiscretion today. I’ll convince him to forgive all of your indiscretions. You will be released from Ikh Zuree and reinstated in the Kalima.”
My breath hitches. My heart stops. “Could you really do that?”
Ghoa slips to the floor and kneels before me, reversing our roles so thoroughly, I can do nothing but gape. “I swear on my life, I will see you reinstated. I persuaded the Sky King to spare your life two years ago, did I not? And again today?”
“Yes …”
“Please, En. Don’t you want to be together again, fighting side by side?”
I do. Blazing skies, I have never wanted anything more. My entire body hums at the thought of rejoining the Kalima … except for a tiny, pricking splinter buried deep in the sole of my foot.
Temujin saved me. He wasn’t afraid of me.
Ghoa’s expression falters. “Unless there’s a reason you don’t wish to rejoin the Kalima? Unless you support Temujin’s cause? Or feel some sort of loyalty to him now?”
“Of course not,” I say quickly. “My loyalty will always be with you.”
Ghoa takes my hand and squeezes it three times—just as she did whenever we charged onto the battlefield. “Then do this for me. I’ll be with you every step of the way, helping from a distance. Please, En. If you love me …”
She has never asked anyone for help, and if she believes I can do this, if she needs me to do this, I must accept.