The Night Rainbow A Novel - By Claire King Page 0,48

and he wiggles his feet, which were camouflaged in the grass. He must have snuck up very quietly. Claude would be very good at hide and seek. Have you got a mami? I say, to his feet.

Claude laughs. Merlin turns three times, like a magic spell, then flops down on to the grass by Claude’s feet with a sigh.

A mami? says Claude, Not any more, my little flea. She died a long time ago. But I had two once upon a time.

How do you know if you have a real mami? I shout.

A real one? Well, she is the maman of your maman, or the maman of your papa. Often she makes jam, and wears an apron. Claude shifts so I can see all of him properly. He is smiling. And usually they like to give you lots of kisses. Why do you ask?

Oh, I say. I have only got one mami and I’m not even sure if she is a real one.

Claude sucks hard on his cigarette and drops it on to the grass. The last of the smoke sails up to the girl-nest and I breathe it in. I have started to like the smell of Claude’s smoke.

Does she make jam? he says.

Yes, I say. Because she definitely does; I have seen it in her kitchen in pots with the wrong labels on. But she doesn’t give me lots of kisses.

Would you like her to give you more kisses?

I think about it, and shake my head. No, I say. Because her hands are quite witchy and she doesn’t have any good biscuits.

Well then it’s OK, says Claude. She is definitely a mami and the kissing thing doesn’t matter. I’m sure she has an apron, because they all do.

Why do we kiss people? I say.

Claude laughs. Ooh-la! he says.

Yes, why? says Margot.

Well, we kiss people when we like them, says Claude, and to say hello and goodbye.

So why doesn’t Mami kiss us?

Maybe she doesn’t like kissing?

What about you? Do you like kissing?

Claude’s eyes go big and he opens his mouth but no sound comes out, just like Sylvie. It looks funny so I practise doing it too, but my face doesn’t feel comfortable that way.

So, Claude says, tell me more about this fairy you have?

He hasn’t heard you, says Margot. It’s his funny head.

Yes, I say, and I climb out of the girl-nest because I want an answer to my important question.

Claude is watching my sandals slip on the ladder coming down.

How did your shoes get wet? he says.

She was carrying the fairy, says Margot, so she couldn’t balance on the stepping stones.

I didn’t want to drop the fairy in the river, I say.

Claude nods, as though he understands, but I’m not sure if he thinks that collecting fairies and walking through rivers in sandals is naughty or not.

I only collected one, I say, and I show Claude how you have to walk with your hands closed up like a box, and how if you try to do that on stepping stones – I pretend there are stepping stones in the long grass – it makes you more wobbly.

Well, says Claude, you take care in that river. It’s slippery. The stepping stones are best. Maybe you should put the fairy in a bag next time.

That is a very good idea, says Margot.

I didn’t think of that, I say.

Anyway, says Margot, we came down to ask you about the kissing.

Oh yes, I say. I sit down and lean against Merlin, who is very hot. So why don’t you kiss us to say hello or goodbye or that you like us?

Don’t you like us? says Margot.

We like you, I say.

Claude pulls his knees up and shuffles his back against the tree, like an itchy bear.

I do like you, he says. I think you are very clever and funny and kind and nice. But it is not nice for a grownup to kiss children when their parents are not there. It is a rule.

But Maman is never here.

No, he says, and that is why.

What about if we blow kisses? I say.

Yes, says Claude, we can do that.

But even though it was my idea this doesn’t make me happy. A blown kiss is not like a proper kiss. Hugs and kisses should be hugs and kisses, not breaths of air. I am tired of breaths of air and not enough hugs and kisses. It surprises me, my crossness, blowing up inside me like a black balloon until I want to shout out loud.