Mum, I don’t know anything any more.’ A surge of fatigue suddenly overwhelms her and she screws her fists into her eye sockets. ‘The world’s turned upside down. Mabel is still missing and the police don’t seem to have a clue about who took her or what they did with her. It seems it was some random person who stole the door key, but we don’t know for sure.’
‘That’s what the police think,’ says Ruby. ‘They think it was me, but it wasn’t, Mum, honestly it wasn’t. I would never—’
‘I know, love,’ her mother replies in a rare moment of tenderness. ‘You love Mabel, that’s obvious to anyone.’
‘I do. I love her like she’s my own. If she doesn’t come back, I’ll never forgive myself, you know that. If she turns out to be dead, I don’t want to be alive.’
‘Hush now, let’s not talk like that. We have to be positive. I’m not saying Lewis harmed her, but I know the two things are connected. They have to be.’ She clasps her fingers together and lets out a long, anxious breath. ‘Even before this, I was worried about Amber. I thought it was just postnatal depression, but I can see now it was more than that. She’s been racked with guilt, terrified of George finding out. And I have a feeling she’s not telling the whole truth either.’
Ruby shrugs. ‘I’m so tired. I just want Mabel back, that’s all I really care about. Lewis and I are dead in the water, and right now I’d like to kill Amber. I don’t want to see either of them ever again. But if we get Mabel back safely, none of it will matter, we’ll all be so happy nobody will give a shit about whose child she is. Maybe not even George.’
‘Hmm … I wouldn’t be so sure about that.’ Vicky looks uneasily towards the window, as if somebody might be spying on them. ‘He’s a very proud man. He won’t take this lying down.’
‘I still don’t get why Amber cheated on him. Unless it was to get at me. Does she hate me or something?’
‘It was Lewis, he seduced her. She found she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do, but decided to keep the baby. It must have been agonising …’
‘That’s bollocks, Mum.’ Ruby uncurls herself and gets up. ‘You’re always the same. Nothing is ever Amber’s fault. It makes me sick.’
Vicky’s eyes flare with anger. ‘Oh stop it, for God’s sake. The poor girl has lost her child!’
‘I know, I know, it’s awful.’ Ruby feels the tears welling up. ‘But can’t you have some sympathy for me too?’
‘Mabel was taken on your watch,’ she replies tersely. ‘She was an innocent child and you let her down. I won’t forgive you for that, and I’m sure you’ll never forgive yourself.’
‘Okay, fine. Pile on the guilt and blame like you always do.’ Ruby grabs her jacket. ‘I just wanted you to know that instead of one shit daughter, you have two. Hmm … I wonder whose fault that is?’
‘Oh Ruby, you’ve always been so jealous. You have such a nasty streak.’
‘I’ve had enough of the character assassination, Mum. I’m going home.’
Her eyebrows rise. ‘To Lewis?’
‘He won’t be there. I told him he had three hours to get out.’
‘Ruby—’
She storms out, slamming the front door behind her. She picks up her cycle helmet and is fastening the strap under her chin when her phone bleeps, announcing a new text. Whipping the handset out, she sees the message is from Amber.
Told George. He took it extremely badly. My daughter is missing and my marriage is over. Thanks a lot. Hope you’re happy now.
Despite being exhausted, Ruby pedals furiously back across London, carelessly navigating the increasingly heavy traffic. The cauldron is still bubbling and frothing, spitting out bile. She curses herself for going to see her mother; she should have known she would take Amber’s side. It was supposed to be payback time, but it misfired. As ever. And now she has nobody to turn to, except George perhaps – they could form a victims’ support group. The thought of the two of them bonding almost makes her laugh.
Mum didn’t even offer her a cup of tea, her water bottle’s empty, and after burning hundreds of calories on the bike, she’s hungry for a big breakfast. The vegan café a hundred yards from the flat beckons. But the real motivation for