likely. They don’t get on. Why? What are you thinking?’
‘We should go back there,’ Adam said. Trepidation was rising inside him. He’d thought the blood might be Cassie’s. The state Cassie had been in, though, consumed with fury, it could equally be Kim’s.
And learning what she had, what might she have done if she’d called at the Andersons’ house before coming here and found Jemma home?
Fifty-Seven
Cassandra
Please ask Cassie to look after Liam and love him as I would. I’m sure she will when she sees him. It’s not his fault. It’s mine. Josh died because of me. I can’t live with that guilt any more. With the knowledge that I robbed my baby of not one father, but two. Thanks for being there for me, Kim, for taking such good care of my baby. I found more than a child-minder in you. I found a true friend. Please tell Liam I’m sorry and that I love him, even though I can’t make him smile. I can’t comfort him. I can’t even feed him. He’ll be better off without me. Jemma x
Her heart thrashing, Cassie read the text on Kim’s phone over again. Glancing up at Jemma’s bedroom window, she could see there were no lights on inside. Jemma’s car still wasn’t on the drive. With the house in darkness the first time she’d come, it hadn’t occurred to that the car might be in the garage. Now, peering through the mottled glass in the side door, she realised it was. Jemma was inside the house, Cassie was sure of it. Samuel too. She would never forgive herself if…
Her stomach clenching as she realised it might be too late, she made her way painfully to the back gate, thankful for the cover of darkness and praying the gate was open.
It was, mercifully. The back door, though, was locked. Growing desperate, Cassie glanced frantically around, and then snatched up the broom propped against the wall and used the wooden handle to jab a small pane of glass from the door. The key was in the lock on the inside. She breathed a sigh of relief, unlocked the door and stepped in.
Trying to ignore the incessant throbbing in her knee, she hurried through the kitchen and her heart stalled. He was here. He was crying – she would be able to identify his cry in a nursery full of wailing babies. He was clearly distressed. Her chest expanding with fear, she grabbed hold of the banister and swung up the stairs. Faltering at the main bedroom, she glanced in and felt her heart almost stop beating as she saw the limp figure lying on the bed. Guilt choking her, she went tentatively in. All of this was her fault. She should have stopped running from her past, stopped trying to bury the secret she couldn’t hope to hide indefinitely. Been honest with Josh, instead of weak and scared. She’d killed him, she could never escape that fact. It was too late now; all the grief and guilt in the world couldn’t bring him back.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, reaching to smooth Jemma’s hair from her face. Then, swallowing hard, praying harder, she leant over her, pressing her ear close to her mouth. Feeling shallow breaths brushing her face, relief surged through her. She was alive. But what about Samuel? Might she have…? Torn with indecision, she pulled her phone from her pocket and keyed in 999. As soon as she’d relayed the information she needed to, she cut the call and hurried to the nursery.
‘There you are.’ Seeing his little arms and legs flailing, she swallowed back a lump of emotion and went to him. Tears almost blinding her, she smiled reassuringly as she reached to lift him from his cot. ‘It’s all right, sweetheart,’ she said, pressing a kiss to his head, which was wet with sweat. ‘Nana’s here. Nana will look after you. I’ll make everything warm and safe for you, I promise.’
She wasn’t sure how she would keep him safe, where she would go, but she had to do it. She needed to open the front door, be ready to slip out the back once she was sure the ambulance had arrived, and get as far away as possible. Take Samuel away from all of this. That was the only way to keep him safe. That was her promise to Josh. She’d hoped there might still be some chance for her marriage, that Adam might understand if she explained. Now, though,