Kim felt a myriad of conflicting emotions as she walked into the lounge and saw Adam gazing lovingly at Samuel, who was nestled in the crook of his arm. Wonderment, sympathy, uncertainty. His marriage to Cassie was floundering, and suddenly Kim realised he would lose contact with the child he saw as his grandson as surely as he’d thought of Josh as his son. She’d made a promise to Josh, but she hadn’t considered that Adam would be a casualty in all of this. Feeling for him, for all that he’d gone through, would still have to go through, she went across to him. ‘He has his father’s eyes, doesn’t he?’ she said softly.
Adam brought his gaze to hers. What Kim saw shocked her. Once again he seemed close to tears. She hadn’t thought they existed, men who were truly in touch with their emotions.
‘Undoubtedly.’ His mouth curved into a smile of soul-wrenching sadness.
Watching him as he turned his attention back to Samuel, taking his small hand tenderly in his own strong one, exploring his features, Kim’s heart broke for him.
‘Where’s Cassie?’ he asked after a second, his face clouding with worry.
‘She’s warming Samuel’s bottle,’ Kim said. ‘I hadn’t realised she’d bought so much baby equipment.’
She saw a flicker of despair cross his face. And no wonder. Cassie had practically bought the entire baby section of Boots, online presumably. Kim didn’t think she would dare show her face in the local store again any time soon. She had a bottle warmer and a thermal bottle carrier, though God only knew where she imagined she would be tripping off to with Samuel. She had bibs and burp cloths. Bottles in various sizes and milk storage containers. A stock of disposable nappies and baby wipes in the downstairs loo. Kim had yet to see the room she was turning into a nursery for when Samuel stayed over. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead when she’d come to them, thinking she would take one day at a time. But she hadn’t foreseen this. Her tummy twisted with nerves, imagining what the consequences of Cassie wanting to be so hands-on with the baby might be.
‘Are you okay, Kim?’ Adam asked, his eyes flecked with concern.
Kim nodded quickly. ‘Fine,’ she assured him. ‘I was just, you know, thinking about stuff.’
Adam looked as if he did know. ‘Do you want to take him back?’ He offered her a small smile, and eased Samuel from his arms gently into hers.
‘You might need to have a word with Cassie,’ he suggested, as Kim drew Samuel to her. ‘She’s very keen to help out, as you’ve already gathered.’ Running a hand over his neck, he glanced uneasily at her. ‘Me too, but… I thought it might be a good idea if you worked out a schedule. You know, give her designated times when it suits you for her to come and visit.’
Kim stared at him, huge relief washing through her. He’d just given her the answer. It was the obvious thing to do: stipulate convenient times that would work for her and Samuel. Routine was important in a baby’s life, after all. Cassie would see the sense in that.
‘Or for you to come here,’ Adam added. ‘You’re welcome any time, but…’
Kim glanced quickly over her shoulder. ‘You’re worried Cassie might get too attached?’ she suggested.
Adam looked as relieved as Kim felt. ‘She’s always been a bit fastidious,’ he went on with an awkward shrug. ‘It got worse when she was ill because she wanted to be doing things but physically couldn’t. I think losing Josh the way we did had a bigger impact on her psychologically than I realised.’ He paused, allowing Kim to draw her own conclusions. ‘She doesn’t mean to be so full-on. It’s just, she’s been through a lot and it’s left her a bit…’
‘Stressed,’ Kim supplied diplomatically as he searched for the right word.
‘Definitely that.’ Adam smiled sadly. ‘She needs something else in her life other than this place. Something else to focus on.’
Kim nodded slowly. ‘But you don’t want her so focused she swaps one obsession for another.’
‘Exactly. I know it’s a big ask, but do you think you could be patient with her?’
‘I think I can work something out.’ Kim gave him a reassuring smile. ‘She could come to the cottage and have him for an hour during the day, until I can get a job. I’m happy to come here too, that wouldn’t be a problem.’ She hesitated, glancing contemplatively