caring. Despite her dumping him, it had taken a while to accept what she was really like. He couldn’t quite believe it, even now. He really was a prize idiot.
This time he was waiting to see Kim, who for some bizarre reason he was yet to understand clearly didn’t want to be seen with him in public either, and had requested they sit at one of the tables outside the pub, rather than inside where it would be a damn sight warmer. Until he’d finally got hold of her on the phone last night, she’d been ignoring his calls – another woman who’d made up her mind to avoid him. Josh simply didn’t get it. Was there something fundamentally wrong with him that he wasn’t aware of?
Seeing her coming down the lane, he didn’t bother to go and meet her. He’d had enough of being messed around. If the shoe were on the other foot he would be labelled a right bastard. Oh, he forgot. He was, according to Jemma. Maybe she was right. He must not be a very nice bloke.
He didn’t stand to greet her either, waiting instead until she seated herself on the bench opposite him. No smile, he noted. Very little eye contact. He was intrigued to find out what he was supposed to have done to warrant the cold shoulder. ‘Drink?’ he asked.
Kim shook her head. She still wasn’t looking at him, her gaze fixed downwards.
Josh sighed and took a swig of his pint. He’d clearly done something very wrong, not perfecting his mind-reading skills being his first big mistake.
Placing his glass back on the table, he twirled it pensively around and then took a fortifying breath. ‘I’m confused, Kim,’ he said, making sure to keep his tone even. ‘I’m not sure what’s happening here, but the last time we met you were all over me. Now, suddenly, you’re avoiding me like the plague. I’d quite like to know why. Just out of curiosity.’
‘You know very well why,’ she said, her cheeks flushing.
Josh squinted at her, confounded. Her hands were stuffed in her jacket pockets, her shoulders tense, as if she was uncomfortable in his company. Why? Was he public enemy number one, or what? ‘Right.’ He blew out a frustrated sigh. ‘I’m obviously completely bloody dense,’ he muttered, ‘because I really have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Don’t, Josh,’ she said, still not looking at him.
‘Don’t what?’ He laughed, disbelieving. ‘I haven’t done anything.’
‘You’re doing it now.’ She looked up at him at last, her eyes tear-filled and burning with accusation. ‘Swearing. Being aggressive. I can’t be around someone like that.’
‘Aggressive?’ Josh almost choked. ‘That’s bullshit, Kim. I’ve never been aggressive in my life.’ He stared hard at her.
Kim looked away. ‘That’s what they all say.’
‘I think I should go,’ Josh said shortly, his blood pumping with anger he was struggling to keep in check. Why was she doing this? Suddenly he felt like crying. But blokes didn’t cry, did they, he thought cynically. What was this? He’d never been aggressive, not ever. What in God’s name was going on?
‘Kim, you need to tell me what’s happening here,’ he said, trying hard to temper his tone. ‘I really have no idea what you’re talking about.’
She was quiet for a minute, then, ‘You used me, Josh,’ she said, looking at him reproachfully.
‘Used you?’ Josh was now utterly stunned. ‘How?’
Her eyes flicked down. ‘You’re still in love with your ex. You’re still seeing her.’
So that was what this was about. Josh sucked in a tight breath. The fact that he hadn’t told her he loved her – because it would have been a lie. As for Jemma, yes, he had still been in love with her when he and Kim had slept together. Or he’d thought so. Now, he was utterly confused. He didn’t think sharing that with Kim would be very considerate of her feelings, not that he felt inclined to be. ‘I’m not seeing her,’ he said wearily. ‘And I wasn’t using you, Kim. I thought you…’ Hold on. How did Kim know he had seen Jemma? Unless…
‘Have you been following me?’ he asked suspiciously. ‘Because I’ve only seen her once. Just once, Kim, and that was right here in this lane.’
‘You really are a piece of work, aren’t you?’ Kim responded. ‘I told you, I’m not that fucking desperate I would follow you around! I suspected you were seeing her, with good reason it turns out, since you’ve just admitted to it.’