With its humid air and soothing aromas that claimed to ease tension in the body, the steam chamber at the spa had lived up to its promise. Despite her worries, Cassie was actually relaxing, feeling more like her old self, before all the bad things had started happening. Listening to Adam across the room pouring them both a glass of chilled wine, she kept her eyes closed, enjoying the stillness, the luxury of having absolutely nothing to do.
She heard him walk across to her, sensed him setting the wine down on the bedside table, and then felt the bed dip as he sat on the side of it next to her. ‘How are you doing?’ he asked her.
Her eyelids fluttering open, Cassie smiled up at him. Noting that his eyes weren’t full of the pain she’d seen there almost permanently since they’d lost Josh, she felt a huge sense of relief. He’d been devastated by Josh’s death, tried so hard to pick up the pieces and carry on when she’d been falling apart, and then he’d been devastated all over again by her odd behaviour and the ridiculous notion that she’d turned into a kleptomaniac. She’d tried to explain on the drive here about the first shoplifting incident, how distracted she’d been, her mind on her diagnosis and where that might leave Josh and him. She told him again that she hadn’t stolen the hair straighteners, needing him to believe her. She still wasn’t sure he did, that he imagined she might have taken them subconsciously because of the hair loss. The frightening thing was, she wasn’t a hundred per cent sure he might not be right. She’d been distracted lately too, cleaning obsessively in an attempt to assuage her grief and her guilt; the gnawing suspicion eating away at her. Her mind felt like wet cotton wool half the time, incapable of concentrating on anything but her physical endeavours and the release exhaustion might bring. Sleep, though, only ever came to haunt her.
She’d hoped that Samuel might help her channel her energies, fill the void in her life. Adam had been right about that too. She was obsessing about him, or rather about Kim and what she was doing wrong. But Samuel wasn’t her child. He was Kim’s. Kim would want to do things her own way. She had to back off a little, allow Kim the space she needed, if she didn’t want her to disappear from her life; for Adam to decide he’d had enough too. That thought truly terrified her, because without him and Samuel, she would have no reason to keep living.
She looked him over, her heart twisting with a combination of love and fear. She took in his strong profile, which was an indication of the type of man he was: reliable; driven by his powerful work ethic to be successful, but never afraid to take time out, to be there when his family needed him. He was a catch for any woman. He had no family now apart from her, and she was slowly torturing him. She had to stop. Pull herself together and be there for him. Assuming he still wanted her.
What was he thinking? He seemed far away, lost in his own thoughts. ‘Penny for them?’ she asked, placing a hand on his arm. ‘I can see the wheels going round,’ she added as he glanced curiously at her. ‘You obviously have something on your mind.’
The serious look in his eyes caused her heart to stall. ‘I do,’ he said, after an agonising second. ‘But I’m not sure whether it might have to be censored.’
Seeing the slow smile curving his mouth, Cassie’s heart started beating again. ‘Try me,’ she said, reaching to graze his cheek softly with her hand.
‘I was wondering…’ Adam paused, catching her hand and pressing his lips to it, ‘how you would react to my giving you a relaxing massage.’
Cassie scanned his eyes and saw a flicker of uncertainty, but also found what she was looking for: desire. ‘Pleasurably.’ She smiled. ‘The thing is, how much do you charge?’
Adam laughed, with obvious relief. ‘It’s gratis,’ he assured her, leaning in, his hand seeking the tie on her towelling robe. ‘All part of the room service.’
‘Remind me to give you a rating,’ she murmured as his mouth found hers.
He was taking his time, kissing his way down the side of her neck, gently seeking her breasts, when her phone rang shrilly to her side.