wistful sigh. ‘They’re living happily ever after shearing sheep together.’
Conjuring up an image of the happy couple gazing doe-eyed at each other over their flock, Josh smiled. ‘Might have been a bit expensive in a taxi,’ he joked.
A flicker of guilt crossed her face. Then, seeing his expression, she laughed. A laugh that turned into a sob that caught in her throat. And then another, which shook through her body. What was he going to do, stand by and watch while her heart broke?
The train came into the station as he held her. She made no attempt to move away. Saying nothing, guessing it might be therapeutic for her to cry her tears out, he waited until her sobs slowed. ‘About that date I didn’t ask you on,’ he said softly. ‘It’s not that I wouldn’t have liked to. I was trying to do the right thing, that was all.’
She looked up at him, her wide green eyes awash with tears. ‘Because you didn’t think you were ready for another relationship?’
‘That’s right.’ Josh nodded, now feeling incredibly guilty. He’d led her on, given her reason to think this might be going somewhere. He wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing, but… Would it change anything? If he denied himself the company of other women, would it make the one he’d imagined he might have a future with see him in a different light? At least have some contact with him? Josh had hoped, but now he very much doubted it.
‘I didn’t, but…’ He hesitated, and prayed she wouldn’t think he was doing this out of pity. ‘I would hate it if you thought I was asking for any other reason than that I like you, but… would you do me the honour of going out with me? For a meal? Or to see a film maybe?’
She searched his eyes. ‘Such a gentleman,’ she said, a smile lighting her own. ‘I’d like that.’ She nestled back into him. ‘Very much.’
Twenty
Cassandra
Cassie stepped out of the bedroom as Adam reached the top of the stairs, causing him to jump. ‘I thought I heard Kim downstairs,’ she said, studying him apprehensively.
‘Christ, you nearly gave me a heart attack.’ Adam gathered himself. ‘I thought you’d taken a sleeping tablet?’
‘I decided against. They only make me feel worse in the morning. I did doze for a while, though.’ Cassie gave him a small smile. ‘Was it Kim I heard?’
‘I, er…’ Adam’s gaze flicked towards her, and then away again. ‘Yes,’ he said eventually. ‘She’d been out shopping. She came to show us some baby clothes she’d bought.’
Cassie squinted at him. ‘What, today?’
Adam nodded, his gaze troubled. ‘She said she called you about meeting up. That Samuel seemed a bit off colour.’
‘She did.’ Cassie knitted her brow. ‘But… why would she have done that and then gone to the shops anyway?’
‘She went to the doctor’s surgery apparently. The nurse she saw confirmed Samuel was fine, so as she was out…’ He stopped, studying her carefully.
Cassie nodded. She hated this wariness between them. They’d never been like this before. They’d had arguments – what married couple didn’t? – real humdingers occasionally, but they’d never done this, stood on opposite sides of some invisible fence, avoiding the elephant in the room.
It made sense that Kim would go to the shops if she was already out, she supposed. She might have needed the nappies urgently, and the shops were only a stone’s throw from the surgery. ‘Did you not think to come and get me?’ she asked him.
‘No. I thought you were fast asleep. I didn’t want to disturb you.’
‘I see.’
‘Would you like some tea? Something stronger?’ He seemed not to know what to say, and Cassie felt an uneasiness spread through her. Why? Was she imagining it? Being neurotic, insecure? Having heard him confiding in Kim when she’d come out onto the landing after hearing voices downstairs, she couldn’t help feeling that the divide between them had widened another inch, that he’d slipped further away from her – and that Kim had moved closer.
Thinking she was losing her grip, imagining people conspiring against her, she pulled herself up. Adam didn’t have a disloyal bone in his body. If she pushed it, she would only appear suspicious.
‘No thanks. I’m actually quite sleepy, despite everything. I think I’ll just go back to bed.’
‘Right.’ Adam smiled, still looking uncomfortable. ‘I’ll just sort out a few outstanding invoices and then I’ll join you.’