‘Kim’s house. She contacted me. We need to talk to her, Adam. We have to. We can’t let her just disappear from our lives. She came here for our help and we as good as turned her away. I think she’s decided to put the baby up for adoption. I can’t let her go through with it just because she feels she has no choice. We’re talking about Josh’s child. Surely you must know how much this means to me?’
‘Of course I do.’ Adam sighed but looked reticent. ‘I’m just…’
‘What?’ Squeezing back tears, Cassie scanned his face, bewildered. She didn’t understand. This wasn’t like Adam. He’d loved Josh unreservedly. Surely this baby meant as much to him as it did to her? Unless… He’d been through so much, her illness, losing Josh, giving up the option of having children of his own to be with her. Was it that he didn’t want to commit to such a huge responsibility because he might no longer want to be committed to her? God, Cassie hoped that wasn’t it. She couldn’t bear to lose him too. ‘The baby’s our grandson, Adam,’ she appealed to him, her heart faltering uncertainly. ‘Why are you so reluctant? I don’t—’
‘Because I’m scared!’ Adam raised his voice, causing her to jolt. ‘I’m scared, Cas,’ he repeated, more quietly. ‘What if it’s not Josh’s baby? What if it is and she’s already looking at some illegal private adoption arrangement? There are millions of people out there ready to pay vast sums of money for a child. What do we do if she’s already put the wheels in motion?’
Cassie wasn’t sure what to say. She’d hated herself for thinking it, but after Adam’s initial reaction, the thought had occurred to her that Kim might be after a one-off payment. That she would relinquish the baby’s care to them only if she was sufficiently remunerated. But what if, even after they’d paid her, she wouldn’t allow them to take the baby? What then? Cassie had no idea where they would stand legally. And the absolute last thing she would want would be to have the police involved, digging into Josh’s history.
‘Aren’t you wondering about her story?’ Adam asked. ‘Why would Josh have been out getting drunk, possibly feeling suicidal, according to the police, when he apparently had everything to look forward to? Where was she when all this was going on?’
Cassie was floored by that. ‘I don’t know. I… Perhaps they’d had an argument. They’re both so young, after all. Were…’ She stopped, a wave of grief crashing so forcefully through her it took her breath away.
‘Why didn’t he call me?’ Adam said suddenly, his eyes haunted as he locked them on hers. ‘He texted me to say he would. I tried to call him back but he was on the phone. To her? Did they argue then? Might that have been why he wasn’t concentrating?’ He searched her face, his expression anguished. ‘Christ, why didn’t he just call?’ Swallowing slowly, he stopped and glanced away.
‘I… don’t know, Adam,’ Cassie said, feeling wretched for him. He was still blaming himself. It was eating away at him. Was that the basis of his reluctance to accept Kim as genuine? Was he scared of investing emotionally in Josh’s child, only to have him cruelly snatched away too? The hard lump in her chest expanding, she went to him. ‘There was nothing you could have done,’ she said softly. ‘Nothing. Please believe that Josh wouldn’t want you to live the rest of your life in purgatory because you couldn’t do the impossible.’
With a shuddery breath, Adam closed his eyes.
Cassie leant into him, kissing him softly, the salty tears on her lips mingling with his. Easing away from him, she scanned his eyes, which were now shot through with heart-wrenching sadness. ‘We have to do this,’ she whispered. ‘We have to talk to her, despite our uncertainties, try to convince her not to do anything she’ll regret later; be there for her. That’s what Josh would have wanted. Could we really live with ourselves if we didn’t?’
Adam didn’t speak. Taking another deep breath, he nodded slowly, and then pressed his forehead lightly to hers.
Seven
Kimberley
Keeping a watch from the kitchen window an hour later, Kim saw the car pull up, a metallic blue BMW Z4. Adam Colby’s car, she assumed. Cassie drove a white Mini convertible. Kim couldn’t help but feel upset at the way they’d treated her. Would they have made the same