see she was struggling to cope. I… offered to help her look after the children. Eventually I suggested that Josh stay with me permanently.’
‘Suggested?’
‘I offered to pay her.’ Shame burned Cassie’s cheeks.
‘I don’t fucking believe this.’ Adam laughed cynically. ‘And Ryan?’
‘His father was involved in his life then. The two boys were by different fathers. Josh had no one but her. I thought…’ Cassie swallowed again. ‘She knew I would provide him with a good home, all that he needed.’ She forced herself on, knowing that each word was sealing her fate. Karma catching up with her.
‘So you basically provided her with drug money.’
Hearing the scorn in his voice, Cassie didn’t dare look at him. She hadn’t done that in the end, but that didn’t make what she had done any better. ‘I was thinking of Josh,’ she blundered on. ‘I couldn’t let him stay with her. He was so tiny, so vulnerable. I thought I was doing the right thing. I…’ She stopped. She had thought she was doing the right thing at the time. Everything she’d done since, though… so wrong. So, so wrong.
‘And the paperwork?’ Adam asked shortly.
‘I gave her an upfront payment, just a small sum, persuaded her to sign the paperwork, but…’ Again Cassie faltered. He would think she truly was a monster now. He would be right. ‘I never made the subsequent payment. I wanted to,’ she said quickly, ‘but the paper I had articles lined up with folded. I had no more money. No way of obtaining any. I’d given her everything I had. I couldn’t let Josh go back to her. What kind of future would he have had?’
‘And she didn’t pursue you?’ Adam sounded sceptical.
Cassie hesitated. ‘I moved house. Changed my name.’
‘From Smith to Tyler, because you wanted something zappier.’ Adam emitted a hollow laugh. ‘And Josh never knew,’ he said flatly.
‘No.’ Cassie wiped at the tears that were falling freely, despite her best efforts not to let them.
‘But…’ Adam was clearly struggling, ‘how the hell did you… His birth certificate… How…?’
‘I wasn’t sure what I would do,’ Cassie admitted with a hopeless shrug. ‘Then, after a while, I realised his mother had never registered his birth, so…’
‘You did,’ Adam finished, sounding sick to his stomach. ‘So many fucking lies.’ His voice cracked. ‘How did you live with yourself, Cassie?’
‘I don’t know,’ Cassie sobbed. ‘I didn’t know how to undo it. I thought it might all come out when Josh insisted on being involved in the baby’s life. I thought Jemma might claim that Ryan was the father. That they might go the DNA route and that the link might be made that Ryan or Josh could be the father. I know now it wasn’t likely unless they were searching for the link, but I was desperate. All I could think was that if Josh found out what I’d done, I would lose him. You. Everything.’ She looked at him. There was nothing in his eyes now but absolute disillusionment.
Adam nodded slowly. And then, after an excruciating silence, he asked her the question she’d most feared. ‘Were you involved, Cassie? In trying to keep all this from being found out, were you responsible for Josh’s death?’
She kept her gaze fixed down, her heart fracturing – for him, for her son. ‘I loved him,’ she murmured eventually.
‘Were you there, at the station?’ Adam spoke quietly. ‘Look at me, Cassie.’
Hearing the desperation in his voice, she closed her eyes. ‘It was an accident,’ she whispered. ‘I tripped. I—’
‘No!’ Adam tore his gaze away, banged his head back against his headrest. ‘Jesus Christ… No.’
‘It was an accident,’ Cassie repeated hoarsely.
Sixty-One
Joshua
July 2019
‘Josh! Josh!’ Hearing Kim’s frantic tones drifting from his phone, Josh might have smiled ironically had he not been so petrified. She did give a damn about him then. It took a second for him to comprehend through his terror who it was standing above him.
‘Why did you do it, Josh?’ Ryan asked, his voice choked. ‘You could have had your pick of any number of women. You always did, you good-looking… stupid bastard. Why did you have to sleep with my wife?’
His heart hammering in time with the vibrations rumbling below him, Josh moaned deep in his throat. Please help me, he pleaded silently. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me here.
‘Why did you have to sweet-talk her into sleeping with you?’ Ryan stifled a sob.
I didn’t. I… A stark image flashed through Josh’s mind. You forced me. Coercion is a crime, Josh! Kim,