Never Slow Dance with a Zombie - By E. Van Lowe Page 0,19

can fix things."

I thought back to when Sybil and I zombie walked toward the building's south exit, surrounded by moaning zombies. As soon as the morning announcement began, the zombies had all stopped and listened as they did every morning. We were forgotten.

"What about parents?'' Sybil asked.

"Parents already think you kids are from another planet. They'll look at this new behavior as a phase. And the few parents who push the issue will join the living dead. So they won't be complaining."

It seemed Principal Taft had thought of everything. Still I knew what he was proposing was wrong. "I'm sorry, Principal Taft, but-"

"Margot Jean Johnson, how would you like to be president of the Homecoming Committee?" he suddenly said. The odd request caught me off guard,

"Amanda Culpepper is homecoming president,' I said.

"Amanda Culpepper is a zombie." A sly look crossed his face. "I'm going to pass a rule right now that no zombie can be in charge of anything at Salesian High."

And suddenly, what had seemed so wrong a few moments before was starting to seem right. Why should Amanda get to run everything? Selves her right for not biting me. And for ostracizing me in the eighth grade.

"What about the Prom Committee?" I heard myself asking.

"That's usually reserved for seniors, but seeing as how you're willing to help me out with my little problem, you are now chairman

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man of the Prom Committee. And we can have any prom theme you wish."

"Prom queen?"

"I know of only two candidates, and they're both standing right in front of me. I think you're a shoo-in." He winked at me.

Suddenly my thoughts were consumed with all the accolades I'd been denied for as far back as I could remember.

"Yearbook Committee?"

Tours."

"Head cheerleader?"

"You."

"Captain of the debate team?"

"Yes!"

"Wait. I don't want that. That's social suicide. I was just testing you." My high school manifesto flashed through my mind. Here was my opportunity to have the best semester of my life. And all I had to do was go along with his ... ridiculous plan.

"Lunchroom monitor," Sybil suddenly said. We both turned and stared at her.

"You want to be a lunchroom monitor?" My words were filled with disbelief.

Yes."

"A lunch... room ... monitor?" I said the words slowly-- not for her benefit. I wanted to make sure I was hearing myself correctly.

"I know it sounds silly, but I've always wanted to be a lunchroom monitor."

"Not only are you a lunchroom monitor, young lady, but you're the head lunchroom monitor," Principal Taft said.

"I get to run the cafeteria? Yes!" Sybil said, pumping her fist.

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1 didn't ask why she wanted the ridiculous position. At the moment I didn't care. The pendulum of popularity was swinging in my direction. My dreams were coming true.

The air of gloom that had surrounded Principal Taft a few moments earlier lifted. He smiled at us,a sly twinkle in his eye. "So, ladies, do we have a deal?"

I faced Sybil. "The principal of our school is asking for our help."

"I know."

"We'd be horrible student citizens if we turned him down,"

"I know."

"So, we'll just have to suck it up, and take over all those tasks that used to belong to Amanda Culpepper."

"I know!"

I was finding it hard to contain the laughter bubbling up inside of me. I couldn't believe our luck.

"A good student citizen should be able to get along with any visitor to our school, even a zombie," Principal Taft said, sounding like a principal again. "I'm going to give you my six rules for living successfully among zombies."

I pulled out a pen and paper and wrote them down:

Principal Jaft's Six Sample Rules for

Surviving a High School Zombie Uprising

Consisting With Student Zombies

Rule #1. Zombies are basically harmless creatures.

They went to be accepted just like you

Treat them with the same respect you

would any visitor on campus.

Rule# 2. While in the halls, walk slowly and wear a vacant expression on your face.

Zombies won't attack zombies.

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Rule # 3: Never travel alone. Move in packs.

Follow the crowd. Zombies detest blatant

displays of individuality.

Rule #4: In class, sit quietly in your seats and

Wait to be called upon. Do not raise your

hands or make any sudden moves. No one

hates a know -it - all more than a zombie.

Rule # 5: If a zombie should attack, do not run.

Instead, throw your steak at him. Zombies

love saw meat. This display of kindness

will go a long way.

Rule # 6: Wear a vial filled with fish oil around your neck at all times. Zombies detest the smell of fish. This is your way of saying

"Hey Mister Zombie, respect