with the truth. But I never loved them even a little. I resented them ditching me when things got inconvenient, but I never missed them once they were gone.
I can see myself missing the fuck out of Shelby if she dumps me. Why am I giving her the power?
Returning to the trailer, where she plays music, I find Shelby dancing around in only her red T-shirt. She notices me and smiles. I don’t even hear the song she’s playing. She sings along, but the words barely register. I only feel my heart pounding in my chest.
I’ve let this woman get too close, and now I’m in a fucking free fall as she sways her curvy hips to the music. I fucked up, and there’s no going back.
I’m in love with Shelby Campbell.
THE WEIRDO
Goliath is an odd man. I can’t imagine what I’d do if he wasn’t. All his bitching and moaning, horniness followed by indifference, the up-and-down bullshit made it seem as if he couldn’t stand me. But that’s just how Dean operates under pressure.
He isn’t nearly as bitchy when we hang out on his bed and watch TV. At first, I have trouble finding something we both want. He likes sports crap, and I like funny or scary stuff. We finally settle on “Doomsday: 10 Ways the World Will End.” He prefers the science, action elements. I enjoy the apocalyptic, horror stuff. By the time we’re on our third episode, we’ve finished my sandwich, with me mostly eating the onions.
“I’m ordering food,” he says, pausing the show and reaching over for his phone. “What do you want?”
“What are my options?”
Goliath suggests pizza, and I order a barbecue chicken for me. His expression makes me laugh.
“Barbecue doesn’t belong on pizza,” he mutters, thinking I’m nuts.
“Says who?”
“Everyone.”
“Have you even tried it?”
Goliath doesn’t answer. He just gives me a side-glare, and I realize I’m about to introduce him to more than hugs today.
A woman raised with less care would gloat when Goliath ends up eating most of my pizza. But I don’t say a damn thing. Though mentally, I scream, “I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!”
Still, I keep those triumphant cheers to myself. The last thing I want is for Goliath to fear trying new shit because of my gloating. I sense he learned to hate a lot of things, only because someone nagged him about it.
Like his disinterest with TV isn’t him. It’s one of those bitch exes nagging him about watching sports. He became so focused on making them leave him alone that he rejected what he enjoyed.
“Women done messed up his brain,” I text to Taylor when Goliath’s in the bathroom. “But I got him under my spell... for now.”
“You’re a bulldog, never giving up, forcing others to submit. Ruff!”
Other people might take her comment as an insult, but my family is well known for our stubbornness. We refuse to concede until we have what we need.
If Goliath threw me out of this trailer in the next five minutes, I’d be back on our next scheduled hookup. I wouldn’t give up on him. I kept thinking I should walk away. More than once, I thought I was done.
But I’m a Campbell, and we can outwait anyone.
That’s why I’ll win over Goliath completely one day. It’s also why I’ll stop the Shasta Slasher. I refuse to give up. It’s the real reason I watch horror movies. I say I hate fear. Yet I seek out ways to shock my system—horror movies, roller coasters, driving too fast, falling for a violent man with serious commitment issues. I’ve always had a hankering for danger.
The sexy man I can’t let go of returns to me like a kid after a long day of playing and eating junk. He flops on the bed. His large frame doesn’t fit well on the mattress, leaving his feet hanging off the end. He rests his head on the pillow in my lap. Goliath doesn’t think to say anything when he returns. I’m comforted by his lack of engagement. Normally, he’s always watching me, even when his gaze seems elsewhere. Not because I’m so damn beautiful. No, he’s afraid to turn his back on a viper.
But tonight, he relaxes and watches TV as if he’s alone. That’s a compliment. He feels safe. I’m not currently a threat. Big step indeed.
I stroke his head, playing casually with his hair as we watch the show. Sometimes, he’ll look up at me and frown. I’m back on his radar. Why am I