“Not all people. There are a few people who are always straight with me. Those people say you were like a papa bear, watching out for the guys. They also said Fuse and Cum Shot weren’t the kinds of men to appreciate proactive members.”
Narrowing my eyes, I distrust all this praise.
River only smiles again. “But the Reapers aren’t the Skullz. I’m not worried about you trying to take over. Shit, if you overthrew me, Ellsberg would end you before my funeral. That isn’t an issue, but I can’t have you sulking.”
“I ain’t sulking.”
“You’re hiding out here in the trailer when not working.”
“I do shit.”
“Name three things,” he says while lazily crossing one long leg over the other.
“I go to the Saloon.”
“Yeah, and talk with Hugh and no one else. I don’t sense you’re shy.”
“So, you’re my mom now? Is that how it works with the Reapers?”
“I’m going to be a dad. You know that, right?” he asks, and I give him a nod. “I want my kid to grow up in a stable town. That happens when I have strong members. A lot of the new guys are young. Early twenties, still dumb. They’re loyal, but none of them can think beyond their asses. Back in Ellsberg, there’s a nice mix of older and younger guys. Different skills and experience levels. I want the same qualities in Shasta. Instead, I have an experienced guy hiding from the rest of the club because he thinks we might stab him in the back.”
“I’m not hiding,” I grumble, unable to keep my mouth shut.
“Fine. Maybe prison changed you. Whatever the reason, I don’t see the old SGT-at-Arms in you. I see a man who doesn’t know his place.”
“And you came here to compliment me, so I’ll be nicer to everyone?”
“No, I came here to see if you actually want to do more than the piddly-ass shit I’ve given you since your release? I know you used to oversee the guys, looking for threats in town, big-picture stuff. Keeping tabs on a few dealers is below your paygrade.”
River taps the table while I watch him. I don’t know how to respond to his comments. I feel like he’s setting me up for a fall. I also sense this three-day road trip shit is gonna seal my fate either way.
“I’ll do whatever the club wants me to do,” I finally say rather than push for details.
“Playing hard to get. Interesting,” he says, scratching at his neat beard. “Is that what your deal with Shelby is about? Do you think acting disinterested will make her want you more? Or do you not actually like her?”
“I like her fine.”
“But only fine.”
“Fucking her was good,” I say and then wonder if I really am suicidal.
“No doubt. She liked your dick. Maybe that’s the problem. She isn’t slutty, so she put too much romantic crap into what is better left as a hookup situation.”
“Huh?”
“Some people aren’t meant to be together, but that doesn’t mean they don’t fit right sex-wise. Like Utah and Hugh. They can’t stand spending more than a few days in the same house apparently, but they like hooking up. I think that was Shelby’s mistake. She wants to act romantic like a girl, but she’s horny like a guy.”
“Are you talking out loud or asking me shit?”
“Both. I want you to be more involved in the club, but I think that stuff with Shelby created issues. I’m saying there’s no reason you two can’t hook up and have fun without expecting more than that. Maybe I’m wrong. Still, I assume the reason you haven’t been fucking sweet butts for the last few weeks is that you’re hung up on Shelby’s pussy.”
“I fuck plenty of sweet butts.”
“They talk, Goliath,” he says, looking like he wants to laugh. “Those girls keep score and share notes. If you were nailing any of them, they’d mention it. But maybe you got a woman in town. Except I think I’d know that too. I’ve got a solid network of spies set up.”
Feeling on the spot, I’m not sure how to answer River. His easygoing routine might be a con, but he makes me feel like honesty is the best bet. “Shelby is a beautiful woman. No doubt about that, but she’s high maintenance, and I’m too fucking old to be chasing crazy.”
“I get it. The thing is I don’t believe Shelby wants a real relationship. She’s got needs. You know, fucking,” he says,