kind of chick I’d fuck if I weren’t in a committed relationship.”
I shoot a dirty look at Taylor. “Stop rubbing your happiness in my face. I get it. Everyone is in love. Everyone gets their special someone. Not me. I suck.”
The tears feel wrong, but I’ve been thinking about Goliath for months. I tried everything to get him out of my system—short of fucking him—and I finally made my move when it became apparent that he wouldn’t make his. Having found a man to lust over, I’m shocked to realize he thinks I’m a big bowl of nothing.
“Now that you know you can overlook stink,” Taylor says softly, “there are plenty of men you can date.”
“Who, though?”
“I bet we can find someone. Plenty of someones, in fact. We’ll even look for guys in different Reapers-controlled towns. Like if some club guy in Pema interests you, we’ll have Cooper send him here so you can test him out. If he sucks, you send him back.”
“I guess he doesn’t need to be a biker. Though it’d be easier if he was in the Reapers, of course. I wouldn’t have to hide shit from him, but I’m not against dating a normal guy.”
“Yeah. Now that you’re on the market, we’ll find you plenty of options. I mean, half of the guys in the club were interested in you when we moved here. You blew them off because of the stink thing. We’ll find you someone, no problem.”
Sighing, I nod. “I don’t know why I liked Goliath at all.”
“He’s handsome, Shelby. Nothing more complicated than that. You might have also been hormonal the first day you saw him. Those lady chemicals put Goliath on a pedestal. But it’s not him. It’s you. You’re ready for a man in your life. At least temporarily.”
Gasping dramatically, I ask, “You don’t think I can keep a man?”
“I don’t think you want to keep a man. I think you’re lonely in a way that only a man can fix, but I also believe having a guy around all the fucking time will drive you nuts. You have a busy life with friends and family and hobbies. I can’t imagine you’ll want to give that up unless the guy fits just right, you know?”
“You gave up stuff for Kelsi.”
“Not really. She and I have a lot of the same interests. We share friends. Besides listening to some crappy indie music and eating her dicey cooking, it’s been easy. While you could find a guy who fits like that, men aren’t usually cool enough to like the shit you like.”
“I do have exemplary taste,” I mumble, and Taylor smiles.
“And maybe there’s a guy out there who does too. Or maybe there’s a guy who will change enough to mimic your exemplary taste. Or maybe you date a few guys, have fun, get bored of it, and go back to the life you were enjoying until everyone around you started hooking up.”
“It’s true that I wasn’t in any rush to find a man before the rest of the Fearsome Foursome settled down with your special people.”
“Exactly,” Taylor says, wrapping her arm with mine. “You’re competitive and feel left out. Think about how things were around the time Goliath entered your life. Shane had his second kid. River was having his first. I moved in with Kelsi. Everyone around you was doing a particular thing, and you felt as if you should do that particular thing too. Like how you moved to Shasta because we did despite you hating the smell and, you know, everything else here.”
“I really did hate this town.”
“But you forced yourself to get used to it. Now you’re forcing things with Goliath, so you can fit in with the rest of us,” Taylor says and steals one of my fries. “But, Shelby, you are perfectly fine being you. There’s no reason for you to be with a man if you don’t actually want a man. There’s no reason to change for any man either. You as you is the best you. Don’t let Goliath or anyone else make you feel as if you have to be something you’re not.”
“I do feel like a third wheel when I’m out with you guys.”
“Then we need to bring along Maverick or Hugh, so you have a partner. Or when we’re out, we can split into non-couple groups. The Band on one side of the table, and the Fearsome Foursome on the other.”