Never His Girl (Kings of Cypress Prep #2) - Rachel Jonas Page 0,14
conveying his need for me to stop and listen, but he doesn’t come across as desperate, needy.
He manages to get ahold of my hand, and I hate that his touch still triggers something inside me. There’s hatred and something else, but the ‘something else’ is only an illusion, a sick addiction to emotional abuse. I’ve seen it with my parents. One does some shitty thing to hurt the other. Then, somehow, they end up in the bedroom. But not me. I’m determined to break the vicious cycle.
“I just want to talk to you.” His voice echoes off the three walls surrounding me, because I’ve somehow managed to turn right into a dead end. This place is so huge, I still get turned around sometimes.
I spin, facing him because I don’t have much choice. He’s faster and stronger than I am, which means there’s no outrunning him either.
“Get the fuck away from me, West.”
There’s no missing the strain of emotion in my voice. Which is why I’m sure my eyes are red and glassy, too. I’m also sure he knows I’m about to cry again. For like, the umpteenth time since Saturday. Only, my tears aren’t a sign of weakness. They’re a sign that I’m mad as hell and fucking sick of his ass.
I swear he’s just heard my thoughts, as those damn green eyes of his search my face, reading me like he does so well. All he’ll find there is anger, pain.
He breathes deep and his jaw does that thing again, where it flexes and tenses as he comes closer.
“I just … I need you to know I’m—”
“No!” I shout. “You don’t get to say a damn thing to me. That’s not how things work in the real world. I know you’re used to stringing chicks along, having them pine over you no matter what fucked up thing you’ve done, but I’m not like them.”
I half expect an immediate rebuttal just to spite me, but he’s silent. Just goes to show how unpredictable he is, how hard his behavior is to pin down. Ugh … and here I go with the waterworks again. I hate myself for not being able to hold them in.
He’s staring while he wears this look I can’t place. His solid chest and shoulders rise slowly beneath his jersey and I focus there, where his heart should be. Only, I know there’s nothing in its place, but a cavern filled with darkness.
He opens his mouth to speak, but what comes out isn’t even a complete sentence.
“Damn, I—”
The words cut off there and he rubs a hand down his face, still keeping his gaze trained on the floor.
“Look at you,” I scoff. “The screwed up thing is, I think you know you went too far this time, but your pride won’t even let you admit it.”
Half a second later, he meets my gaze and I regret challenging him. There’s unexpected emotion swimming in his irises and I’m now more convinced than ever that he’s a great actor. Probably got a lot of practice over the years. It serves as a reminder that he can’t ever be trusted.
“You chased me down,” I snap. “Why? Didn’t get enough of humiliating me Saturday?”
“That wasn’t—”
His words trail off again and I’m sick of whatever this game is he’s playing.
“This is the last time you will ever speak to me,” I assert, only managing to take a few steps away from him before he gets a firm grip on my arm. He’s not inflicting pain, but I can’t easily pull away when I try.
I don’t have it in me to face him, but standing shoulder-to-shoulder now, I catch his stare in my peripheral, filled with some feigned look of desperation.
“I know I fucked things up,” he admits with a low rasp. “But I’m trying to make it right.”
The statement rings inside my head and I can’t tell which I feel more—anger or disgust.
“Ohhh, okay. So, you want to make things right,” I say with an air of sarcasm. “Does this miraculous fix you’ve mentioned also make me being on academic probation go away?”
I glance over right as his brow tenses. “They threatened to kick you out?”
I laugh despite the tears streaming down my face.
“West, don’t you dare pretend that’s a surprise,” I scoff. “What’d you think would happen? They’ve only ever seen me as a poor kid from the south side, which means I’m expendable.”
I look him up and down and decide it’s disgust that’s ruling my feelings for him, but