Never Give Up - Heidi Lis Page 0,1
kisses.
Softly, he whispers. “I swear I shouldn’t Elsa, but I think I’m in love with you.”
“Oh Micah, I know I’m in love with you.” My eyes instantaneously fill with tears. I have the confirmation for what I had hoped for so long. He loves me.
The look of surprise on his face glazes over as the spark in his eyes twinkle with his smile. “Really, pretty girl?”
I can’t help smiling. “Really.”
“Let me show you how much I love you.”
My heart stops beating, I forget how to breathe, and I swear time stands still. I’m yearning for him. “Show me.”
Taking a hold of my lower back, Micah lifts one leg over his hip. Lining himself up, he leans forward, and takes my lips with his own. Once again, I lose myself like I always do when he kisses me. The instant he parts my lips with his tongue, he thrusts into my mouth at the same time he pushes inside my body. Holding onto his shoulders, I cry into his kiss. The burning sensation pales in comparison to how incredibly full I feel. He’s consuming me, and I greedily take him in, ignoring the burn. My body quakes with every moan that escape my lips. I pull him closer with every thrust of his hips. The back and forth motions dull my pain as my desires increase tenfold.
Our need for one another only intensifies as a sex-crazed Micah props himself on his elbows and begins thrusting like an animal. His lustful moans and tantalizing smile make him even more desirable. I can feel I’m on the brink, as my stomach quivers and my muscles tense before tipping over the edge in euphoria. Quivering under his steady gaze and stronghold, he pushes me straight into oblivion. Not even two seconds later, Micah, with his eyes glazed over, starts shouting my name with his intense release.
Present Day
I’M STILL STRUGGLING, after all this time, my mind can’t stop from remembering. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard that five years is a long time to get over someone, anyone for that matter. No one understands. Here at Burn, my favorite gym, I’m doing the only thing that helps me deal with another day…without him. Months and years come and go, but the pain in my chest is as real as it was the moment my life no longer held any meaning.
Today is another anniversary I wish I didn’t have to remember what I’ve lost, yet the date on the calendar is a constant reminder. I’d rather feel nothing than the sorrow that wants to swallow me whole. As tears descend my cheeks, I aggressively deliver massive blows to the bag I’m releasing my unspent energy on. Even with taped knuckles, my hands ache with each repeated blow. Determined to escape my own mind, I lower my chin, ignoring every sting of pain.
Using the gym was the only way I’ve learned to help release my inner pain. Typical of most nights, I’m struggling with the waves of torment that consume my mind. With every swing and music blaring in my ears, I’m pushing the images out of my head the best I can. The boy who stole my heart had left me with more than just memories. My life forever changed, and the physical and emotional scars are all I have left of him.
Please. (Punch)
Let. (Punch)
Me. (Punch)
Move. (Punch)
On. (Punch)
My mind’s spinning, my stomach’s churning, and my brain is urging me to hit the bag harder each time. My heart is betraying me, reminding me of his baby blues I’ve never been able to forget. Letting Micah in was as natural as breathing, letting him go was damn near impossible.
All I see are his eyes. (Punch)
All I hear are his cries. (Punch)
All I remember was being forced to do something I’ll never forget. (Punch…Punch…Punch)
Standing in the shower, I lower my head and absorb the hot water as it pierces my skin. I embrace the sheer sting for it allows me to escape one pain to seek comfort in another.
I need to make it through this night. Just need to keep it together for a few more hours, the day is drawing to a close. Breathe; I’ve nearly survived yet another anniversary.
TOSSING AND TURNING, sleep is evading me, it’s always on this precise date. April 5th is a date forever seared into my brain and stamped in my heart. The hardest of times is at night alone in my bed, it’s the time my mind drifts back…remembering