Never Enough - By Ashley Johnson Page 0,88

case.” He moved one hand to turn the light on and show me his work.

There were pictures on the walls of tattoos he’d done. Anything from plain and simple to large and elaborate hung up there. His little personal gallery was way too cool, I stood there in awe just taking it all in. “Wow, Luke these are amazing. You’re really good.”

He gave me a big grin and replied, “Thanks.” His face fell slightly though as he continued, “I used to do it occasionally just for fun, but when my pregnant fiancée died in a car crash two years ago, this was the only way I knew to handle the pain. I threw myself into my work. I knew if I didn’t throw myself into this, I could end up hurt or dead as well. I couldn’t do that to anyone. Shit, I’m sorry I forgot you had a miscarriage, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

I couldn’t believe what he’d just told me. He didn’t even know me but was sitting here letting his secrets out. I pulled him into a hug and tried not to cry for him. “Luke, I’m so sorry. I should have not poked my head into here. Don’t apologize for that. I’m ok now. It wasn’t meant to be.”

He looked at me and gave a small smile, “You didn’t know its ok. You’d have found out eventually. It’s just something really shitty that happened. At first it was very hard, but I had to pull through for myself. That’s what she would have wanted me to do.”

Neither of us were drunk and I wish that had been my excuse for me but it was nowhere near it. I don’t know why I was crazy enough to not even think he had a past. Of course he did, we all had those skeletons hiding deep below the surface. I wanted to hug him, more importantly I wanted him to know I was there for him. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking. You don’t have to tell me if its awkward.”

Shit. What was I thinking asking about it?

He smiled letting me know it was ok that I opened my big mouth and placed his hand on mine. “No don’t worry about it. I met Julianne two and a half years ago. She had come into the tattoo shop I worked at with some friends of hers. She was so scared of getting a tattoo but they somehow talked her into it.” He chuckled at the memory like it was yesterday. “I’ve never been one to believe in love at first sight, well I mean you took my breath away but that’s beside the point. She finally agreed to do the tattoo and I was the one who gave her her very first tattoo. She cried, it was the cutest thing. I swear she made me want to be better. We started talking after that day and slowing dated. She moved in with me a year later. When she got pregnant, that was the happiest day of our lives. We started buying things almost immediately.” He got quiet and I really wished I hadn’t asked. Tears were welling in his eyes and were bound to spill over at any moment. “She had gone to the store to get some ice cream she wanted because I was working late and she just couldn’t wait. An hour later I got the phone call. Some idiot ran his red light and smashed into her car. She was rushed to the hospital but they couldn’t save her or the baby.”

The tears that sat at bay slowly fell. I grabbed a tissue and wiped them from his face. “I’m so sorry for asking. I can’t even imagine what that was like.”

“In a way you do. Most of my tattoos are a tribute to her or the baby. It was, like I told you, the only way I could cope.”

Before I could stop my mouth from moving anymore I spoke up and decided to open up to him. I’d never done this before. Very big step for me.

“I know what it’s like to hurt too. Music is my release. I don’t perform but with karaoke but I listen to it and I mean it’s just my thing. It’s the lyrics, the actual music, it’s hard to explain.” I was babbling beginning to wonder again why I opened my big mouth. “When I was 19 my stepdad raped me the first time. My mom