Never Enough - By Ashley Johnson Page 0,65

the screen one last time then at Trevor and I. “I’m very sorry but we can’t find the baby’s heartbeat. Your body was trying to extract the baby which is why you were having contractions. We’re going to have to schedule immediate surgery to remove the baby from your womb.”

Every tear I’d been saving and holding onto washed down my face. There were no emotions but pain that I was feeling. I couldn’t even look at Trevor right now. I couldn’t bear to see his face and wonder whether or not he possibly blamed me or not. I choked out a sob and asked, “Can we at least know what the sex of our baby is? We were supposed to find out tomorrow.” I really shouldn’t have asked but I really wanted to know for closure.

Dr. Riley looked at the screen then somberly replied, “A girl. The surgery team will be in shortly to prep you Macy. I’m very sorry for your loss.” He placed a hand on each of our shoulders then walked out.

I thought before I knew what it meant to feel empty, but I had no idea at all. This was what it was like to feel empty. It literally felt like someone ripped my heart out and trampled it on the floor. This was the worst day of my life. Trevor kissed my forehead and I could feel his tears. I wiped his cheeks and looked into his troubled eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Mace, it’s not your fault.” He picked up his phone and sent a text. “I just texted Marcus to let them know what was going on and asked if he can call Gary and tell him.”

I began sobbing again. He never let go of my hand. I don’t think I could go through this right now if he weren’t right here. The surgery team came in and explained the surgery. I winced at the thought of it but was glad I would be asleep through it. They told Trevor he could wait in the waiting room until I was out of recovery. I wished he could come in there with me. Even with me being asleep I just wanted him there for me but for obvious reasons I understood why he couldn’t. He nodded and kissed my cheek. “I’ll be right out there waiting for you. I love you.”

I attempted to smile but tears got in my way. “I love you too.” He walked out of the room and before making his way down to the waiting room blew me a kiss. How could this really be happening to us?

The team wheeled my bed to surgery where they prepped and put me to sleep.

I had no dream during this sleep but I’m sure if I would have, there would have been a happy ending. Our baby girl would be in our arms and we’d be married. We’d get to watch her grow up into a beautiful young woman and we’d grow old together, forever in love. That would be my dream, plain and simple, nothing more than that but it wasn’t and I awoke after hearing my bed being pushed from recovery back into the room I was originally in.

There were flowers everywhere. Halley stood in the corner trying her best not to cry while Marcus held her close. I put on my best smile for her and she came to stand by my bed. She lost all composure and began sobbing onto my shoulder. “I’m so sorry Macy. I’m so sorry.” I cried with her. My eyes stayed closed trying not to take any of this in. I knew as well as any of them knew though that the crying was far from over.

Marcus slightly pulled her back and touched my shoulder and looked at me sympathetically. Gary stepped up and grabbed my hand. “I’m so sorry kiddo. Anything you need, I’m here for you. I’ll drop some food off to you when you get home. You want some gumbo? I’ll cook a pot just for you. You will pull through this I know you will.” He winked at me reassuringly before stepping back from the bed. I glanced over to where Trevor was sitting away from everyone. I could see the pain all over him. Gary glanced to see what I was looking at and cleared his throat. “Let’s give them two a moment to themselves, I’ll buy everyone coffee.” One by one they all filed out hanging their heads.

The silence was