Never Enough - By Ashley Johnson Page 0,33
looking for Halley and when I saw her I gave Trevor a kiss and made a beeline for her. I tried my hardest to hold my smile back but she could read me like a book.
“Hey roommate! How long has it been?” Her smile practically begging me to tell her everything. She would know eventually anyway.
I gave her a screw you look and replied, “Two hours thank you ma’am! I hardly see you, you and Marcus stay holed up in your room!” I playfully smacked her arm.
“Don’t be jealous!”
“Hahahah, yeah ok! Anyways, Trevor got me a new charm for my bracelet.”
She practically yanked my arm as I tried to dangle it in front of her and looked. “A heart?”
“He said my heart is his.” I felt the butterflies in my stomach just by talking about it. They fluttered around making me almost feel weak. This was the best feeling I’ve felt in my whole life. I prayed it never left me.
“OHMIGOD!! HE LOVES YOU!!” Halley began shrieking and jumping up and down. I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone overheard her. Good thing everyone was too into drinking or doing whatever they were doing to pay attention to me.
I hit her not so playfully this time. “Whisper bitch! Damn! Can’t tell you anything without half the bar hearing! And if you must know I told him first.”
She let go of my arm and I swear her eyes were going to bug out of her head. A huge smile spread across her face and she embraced me in a hug. “No way! Mace, I’m so freaking happy for you! You deserve this more than anyone in the world. Have you guys had, you know, yet?”
“Hales, seriously you can say sex. I’m not going to flip out.”
“I know I’m sorry. I just, you know am being cautious.”
“No we haven’t. I want to though but I just, I don’t know how to go about it. Besides, you know what, I’ve never been with anyone. Ohmigod what if I’m horrible or I have a panic attack and run out naked and he thinks I’m a weirdo?” Honestly I was scared. As badly as I wanted to give myself to Trevor, I was so scared of going into a hysterical panic attack. Like I just told Halley, I’d never attempted to even be with a man since that night.
Halley gave me a sympathetic look as she replied, “Mace, I can’t begin to even imagine what that was like or what’s going through your head but I do know that Trevor loves you, obviously and if you are too nervous he won’t force you into anything you know that right?”
I smiled at her with assurance. “Yeah I know. I mean he hasn’t pushed yet. Thanks Hales.” I gave her another hug as Trevor and Marcus came walking up.
“Aw Halley, you leaving me for Macy?” Marcus grabbed her by her waist and kissed her lips before she could smack his arm.
Trevor put his arm around me and we all walked up to the bar and took shots. I kissed him and whispered, “I love you. I’ll be right back.” I loved saying those words to him. He had helped me begin to tear down my walls, he was everything to me.
I walked to the DJ booth and flipped through the book of songs while I nodded my head to the beat of whatever was playing in the background. I stared at a few songs trying to make my decision. This was a problem I rarely had but I didn’t just want to sing any song. I was singing to Trevor tonight. I decided on two different songs which was my routine but I was going to sing them back to back this time. The first song came over the speakers and I sang along. The first choice was “Feel Again” by One Republic. The lyrics seemed to sum up every feeling I had inside of me. He made me feel again, he opened up all the avenues I had closed down when I was 19. Halley and Marcus danced, well more like swayed and practically making out like teenagers while I sang but Trevor just watched me smiling. I sang and danced my heart out and the crowd cheered. Maybe I did belong on a stage, this was just fun but what if it were a real thing? The crowd was all used to me performing and they loved every minute of it. When the