Need Me - M. Malone Page 0,32

because he holds the door open wider.

“Get in here.”

I walk in and slip my shoes off by the door. The place used to be all white, black and stainless steel. The ultimate bachelor pad. But now it looks lived in, like the kind of place you could put your feet up. Casey has a fondness for blankets and as usual there’s a huge knit throw hanging off the white sectional. There’s a stack of paperback books on the entry table. They look brand new.

Andre motions to the books. “Casey just brought them home. There’s this independent bookstore she likes to visit each month. She calls it stimulating the economy.” He looks down at the books affectionately.

“I didn’t get it before.”

Andre looks startled at the change of subject.

“Get it?”

“The thing with Casey. Last year, you were losing your mind when you couldn’t find her. I didn’t understand how you could be so far gone over someone you just met. I didn’t get it then. I get it now.”

He doesn’t say anything just watches me. Like he’s deconstructing all my parts, trying to find where I’m coming apart at the seams.

“Where is Casey, anyway?”

The place seems so quiet. I’ve gotten used to Casey’s cheerful chatter whenever I come visit. She doesn’t have any siblings so she’s thrilled with her new role as honorary sister and fusses over me excessively. It annoys the hell out of Andre, so naturally I love it all the more.

“She’s taking a bath. She won’t be out for a while. She’s doing a mud mask.”

“Why do women do that shit?”

“It’s good for your pores.” Andre glances at me from the corner of his eye. “That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Never mind, I don’t want to know why you know that.” I can’t stand still. I pace back and forth across the carpet.

“What’s going on? Why are you sweating?”

“Because she makes me crazy!”

“Who? I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

“I can’t tell you who it is. She doesn’t want anyone to know.” Not that Ariana has said that explicitly but it’s pretty clear she’s happy to keep our prior acquaintance under wraps.

“Okay. Casey will be disappointed. She’s gotten the idea to play matchmaker for you. That’s what the dinner invitation for this weekend was about.”

I glare at him. “And you were going to let me be ambushed? Nice, brother. I’ll let you explain to her why I can’t make it.”

He watches as I continue to pace. Inside, I’m a ball of restless energy. All the fury and passion that Ariana always stirs up is roiling inside like a kettle ready to blow.

“I just want to take care of her but anytime I try, it drives her away. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” Andre says. “None of us know what we’re doing.”

“Papa always knew.”

“He was different.”

“Tell me about it. What would he tell me to do?”

Andre thinks for a moment.

“To be what she needs. Tomorrow go over there and talk to her. Maybe she’s lashing out at you because she doesn’t know any other way to be.”

“It hurts my pride to admit it but when I try to get serious, she runs the other way. But then there are times when she holds me like she’ll never let go.”

I feel ridiculous throwing out these feelings but one look at his face reassures me I’m not alone. My brother truly understands just how insane one woman can make you.

He considers my words for a moment before clapping a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“You and I, we learned from the best but some people don’t know how to love. If she’s the one, teach her. Love isn’t just words. It’s action. Be the man she needs you to be.”

13

The next morning, I’m up before the alarm goes off. After a night of tossing and turning, there’s no point in pretending I can sleep anymore. With my erratic schedule insomnia is a constant friend but I wouldn’t have been able to sleep last night anyway.

I have to see my oncologist today. It’s the big one. The five-year follow-up appointment.

My mom never called me back last night. Maybe she had to get a later flight. I call her again but it goes straight to voicemail.

“Where are you, Mom?”

Maybe she got in really late and is still asleep. If there’s one thing Ingrid Larsson takes seriously, it’s beauty sleep.

I spend a little time scrolling on Instagram, looking at beautiful pictures of kitchen renovations and girls sharing coupon codes for