look, which she answered. “I’ve seen your tattoos, including the one on your back. I’d assumed you’d meant faith as a noun, but I can see now it is a name.”
Oscar shrugged. “At least it’s on my back and my stupidity isn’t thrown in my face day after day.” He sighed, and Selene sensed he was working hard to center himself to calm down. “Have to admit I’m sort of partial to the name Selene. Goddess of the moon, right?”
She smiled. “The original Titan goddess. Not one of the lame Greek hangers on. Though when I was in college—physics major with a minor in applied chemistry—I jokingly told people I was named after Selenium, the element. That I had to go into chemistry because of my name.”
“And what is Selenium?”
“A metalloid. Dangerous, but beautiful—it can be used as a pigment.”
“Dangerous and beautiful? Suits you.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” she said, perfectly aware that she was flirting with him, while he was still attempting to change the subject.
Oscar was a thorough, considerate lover, and while part of her longed for another night in his bed, there was a more realistic, practical side that issued a warning. In the past, she’d never been in a position to confuse physical attraction with affection, but there was something about Oscar that tugged at her heartstrings.
“Everywhere, you say?” he asked suggestively.
He had a slight Southern twang that Selene found extremely appealing, sexy. But she wasn’t going to let him distract her with that honey voice and sexy body.
“Why would Faith accuse you of being angry all the time?”
Oscar seemed somewhat surprised by that question. “Surely you’ve noticed I have a temper.”
Selene blinked as she thought back over the past few days. His reactions had seemed perfectly reasonable in the face of what had been going on around them. “Not a particularly scary one.”
If her question had surprised him, her response had shocked him outright.
“Two years is a long time to harbor a broken heart, Oscar. Why haven’t you moved on?”
He toyed with the label on the beer bottle and glanced over his shoulder. She suspected he was debating whether or not to have another.
“Because I don’t blame her for leaving. Her reasons weren’t wrong. And they won’t be wrong with the next woman. It’s just…I’m not…” Oscar rubbed his hands over his beard. Selene had observed him doing the same thing several times, typically whenever he was thinking, tired or, like now, frustrated. “I’m not like my brothers and Sylvie. I don’t wear my heart on my damn sleeve, and I suck at saying sweet shit.”
Selene fought not to grin, aware that Oscar might take her humor badly. She attempted but failed to force a more serious expression. “And Faith wanted you to compose her poems, write songs about her?”
Oscar realized she was joking and barked out a loud laugh. “Not exactly. I think she would have been okay if I’d just…fuck…I don’t know…talked to her. She said I was emotionally distant. That the only emotion I was capable of expressing was anger.”
“Anger is far from a dispassionate emotion.”
Oscar nodded slowly. “Yeah. Well, I lost my shit the night she told me it was over for good. I told her she should know how I felt about her. I mean, Jesus, she was fucking everything to me.”
“I’m guessing the,” she repeated his words, “‘lost my shit’ response didn’t help your case.”
“All it did was prove her right.” He blew out a long, harsh breath. “We got into the biggest fight we’d ever had. Ended with her storming out. She left me alone with a hole in my heart and a useless diamond in my pocket.”
Selene reached across the island, placing her hand on top of his. He turned his over, grasping hers to hold, giving it a squeeze before he released it.
“And there’s been no one since?”
He shook his head and she could see him shutting down, pulling away from the conversation. And her.
“And Faith is the reason you didn’t want to join the Trinity Masters?”
“I rejected joining the cult because I don’t like taking orders, and I’m not planning on getting married. I’m no good at relationships and not looking for love.”
“I don’t believe that.”
Oscar didn’t appear to hear her rejection of his reasoning. Instead, he said, “I prefer my life the way it is. Falling in love means giving someone control over you, and I’m not doing that again.”