Nathan's Child - By Anne McAllister Page 0,60
around in the bathroom. Seconds later the door opened and he appeared, lean and hard and beautiful, wearing only boxers, as he moved toward his bed.
She wanted him. Still. All the years and all the determination and all the heartache never managed to change that.
But what about Nathan? What did Nathan want? Really?
He pushed back the sheet and slid in, lying down flat on his back. If Carin looked at him out of the corner of her eye, she could see the rise and fall of his chest.
She knew what he would say he wanted—her. But that was duty speaking. And she didn’t want him to marry her because of “duty”. But she knew he wasn’t going to turn his back on that duty. Obviously, he would turn his back on his career first.
In the silence she drew a breath. “Nathan?”
He jumped at the sound of her voice, then let out a harsh sigh, as if he’d hoped she was asleep and had suddenly discovered she was not. “What?”
She swallowed and stared at the ceiling, afraid to look at him, knowing her own duty. “I’m ready to get married.”
CHAPTER TEN
NATHAN ROLLED onto his side and stared at her, unsure he’d heard right.
Carin didn’t stare back. She didn’t even look at him. She was staring straight at the ceiling, looking like one of those bodies carved on the tops of sarcophagi, hands folded below her breasts, eyes focused on the heavens.
He ran his tongue over his lips. “You’re ready to get married?” He cleared his throat. “To who?”
Her head whipped around and she rolled to face him. Even in the near darkness he could see the outraged expression on her face. “Fine! Never mind. I just thought it made sense, but if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly okay with me.” There was a high, tight tone in her voice that surprised him.
He held up a hand. “Whoa! Hang on. You just…surprised me. You’re serious?”
“No, I’m joking. Of course, I’m serious.”
“Why? Why now?” More to the point.
For that he got another glare. But damn it, he needed to ask. Dared to hope.
Carin pressed her lips together for a long moment, then she gave a little shrug. “It makes sense.” She didn’t sound annoyed now. She sounded distant, almost indifferent.
Nathan’s hopes wavered. Hardly a declaration of her un-dying love. “Sense?”
She gave him an impatient scowl. “You’re the one who thought so in the first place. Duty and responsibility and all that. Isn’t that what you said?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Well, I’ve decided you’re right. You’re not the only one who can be dutiful and responsible.” Her chin jutted.
Nathan felt a hollow ache begin. “So,” he said slowly, “you’re willing to get married out of duty?”
“Yes. It would be good for Lacey.”
“I said that weeks ago.”
“With just us, I couldn’t see it. But now that I’ve seen her with your brothers and your father and your family…she’s happy. I mean, she was happy before, but she didn’t have a family. Lacey always wanted a family.” The tightness was there in her voice again. Nathan wasn’t sure what it meant.
So it all came back to Lacey?
“And that’s all?” He shouldn’t push. He couldn’t make her say words that weren’t true—even if he wanted desperately to hear them.
“I figure it’s better for you, too. So you can go back to work. Do the assignment Gabriela wants you to do.”
His teeth came together. “That’s why you’re marrying me? To get rid of me?”
“I’m trying to be sensible, Nathan. You’ll hurt your career by insisting on staying, by being so stubborn. And if you don’t know it, I do. I’m trying to tell you don’t have to.”
“Thanks very much,” he said bitterly.
“Look,” Carin said impatiently, “you wanted us to be a family. You came down insisting that I marry you so you could ‘do the right thing’. Fine, I’ve agreed. Let’s do it. We’ll get married—and then you can get back to your life!”
His life. He didn’t have a life anymore—not without Carin and Lacey.
But how the hell could he say that when she was wishing him gone? And how the hell could he pack up and leave without marrying her if she was finally agreeable?
It might be a marriage built on duty, but at least it would be a marriage—a starting point.
Given time, Nathan told himself, they could build something solid. They could find the love they’d lost—the love he’d killed. And yes, he might have to go away from time to time, but perhaps they would go with