Nash Brothers Box Set - Carrie Aarons Page 0,81

“I need you to be on your best behavior tomorrow. You know Lily is going to be there, and whatever the other night was about … I need you to put a lid on it for now. For me. For Presley.”

Annoyance buzzes around me like a fly I want to swat. “You don’t think I’m going to be as civil as possible tomorrow? Obviously, I’m not going to mess anything up for you. I’m kind of offended you even had to say anything.”

He shrugs. “I know that when it comes to Lily … you can go a little crazy sometimes.”

I’m not sure what he’s talking about. Unless maybe he’s alluding to the two times over the last year that I’ve punched holes in my wall after having to be within five feet of my ex-girlfriend.

Not that I hated Lily … fuck, it was the exact opposite. Being around her, having to ride in the same truck cab as her, feeling those dark denim eyes on me … it tore me apart. Seeing her reminds me of everything we should have had, and all the things that will never be.

Being in her presence is physical torture … all I want to do is touch her. Hold her. Unravel her in only the way I know how … in the way that was only ever supposed to come from me. It’s like a knife to the heart knowing that another man has probably touched her by now. When I think about it, I get nauseous.

Not that I have any right to feel that way. I’ve been with other women … mostly trying to forget about her. It’s never worked, and I’ve always felt worse after.

I sigh, tired of talking. Even to my brothers, more than a couple minutes of conversation and I’m physically exhausted. One time, my mom told me I was an introvert, and it wasn’t until years later that I looked up the definition. And realized that the reason I can barely stand to talk to a loved one, much less a stranger, for half a second is that it does physically take its toll on me.

My body shuts down, and aggravation takes over the energy flowing through me. I can’t explain it, only to say that I don’t people well. I never have. Sure, I can bring the charm or friendliness if I really feel like it, but most of the time, I’d rather sit in my house alone than talk to someone else. Being from a big family has forced me to adapt in the course of my lifetime, but it’s still my natural instinct.

“I won’t let you down, brother. Whatever you need my help with, I’m here for you.” Because I am.

Even if it will gut me to stand in the same room as Lily while my brother gets engaged.

3

Lily

I’m standing in the middle of my worst nightmare.

A Nash brother is down on one knee, in front of all of my closest friends, asking the woman he loves to be his wife and spend forever with him.

She is smiling at him through tears, so much hope and love on her face it’s touching the souls of everyone in the room.

That is, except for mine.

Sure, I smile, say “awwww” when everyone else does as Keaton pulls out a velvet box and presents it to Presley. I even cheer when she says yes and they begin to kiss. But inside, I’m dying.

Certainly, I’m happy for Presley, the woman who’s become a very good friend since she walked into my library. And I can separate those feelings of love and excitement for her from the ones swirling inside my gut.

Sorrow, so much that it overflows in my blood, pierces through me. Because … I always thought this would be us someday. Bowen and I, returning to Fawn Hill after the baseball season wrapped up. Him getting down on one knee inside the gazebo in Bloomsbury Park. Our gazebo.

He’d ask me to marry him, and I’d dissolve into a puddle of sobs as I said yes. As all our dreams came true. We’d put an announcement in the paper and get married in the church I’d attended as a girl. I’d walk down the aisle to him, being his and his only.

That dream is long gone though, for him and for me. I won’t pretend I haven’t been with another man out of spite, and I can’t turn a blind eye to the floozies he’s paraded in and out of the