Nash Brothers Box Set - Carrie Aarons Page 0,283

comes back downstairs, Molly in his arms, sucking on her pacifier.

“Never thought I’d get satisfaction out of counting another person’s shits for a day, but I guess that’s fatherhood.” His smile is dreamy when he looks down at his daughter.

“Do you like taking care of her when Lily isn’t around?”

The girls are having a ladies’ night tonight, leaving all the men at home. Ryan had joined them; I think they were going to the Goat for drinks.

“Hell, yeah. It’s fun. And it makes me feel useful, being able to care for her all on my own. Plus, makes me look like a badass to the wife. Then she wants to kiss me even more.” He winks at me, and I find it hilarious how Lily has turned him into a lovable Mr. Mom.

“Well, I’ll plan to get out of your hair then, before she comes home.” I snicker.

“So, what’s up? Why are you hanging here and not at Forrest’s?” he asks, flicking the TV on and turning to the baseball game.

I check the score on the screen. “What do you mean? He’s not the only brother I like.”

“Yeah, but the whole twin thing, you guys are psychic butt buddies.” Bowen says this as if it’s fact.

I guess it kind of is. “Whatever. I wanted to hang with you. My big Bowie.”

The nickname jab is because he called us psychic butt buddies, and I get the response I want when my older brother growls.

“Don’t call me Bowie. And cut the shit. Tell me why you wanted to come over, other than to snuggle my adorable daughter.”

Shit, he does see right through me all the time. See, Bowen and I are similar in a lot of ways. While Forrest is my twin, he’s also very unlike me. Forrest is a grade-A brain and loner, he can spend days not talking to another person. He’s always been on the outside of things, doesn’t like sports much, and if he has a problem with something, he will confront you about it.

Bowen and I, we’re much more internal with our feelings. Bowen more than me, but we keep things bottled up. To the point that they fester and begin to infect us with rage or hurt. I saw him do it with Lily; he lived in this bubble of anger for a decade and wouldn’t get out of his own way to solve his pain.

Before I got sober, I was the same way. I used partying and being social as a cover for the larger problem that was eating me whole. And since giving it all up, I’ve used celibacy as a crutch. If I don’t have the turmoil of a relationship, I don’t have to worry that a fight or a financial commitment to someone will escalate into me having a drink.

I decide to broach the subject with Bowen, though I know he may crack some wiseass remark.

“How did you, uh … stay away from Lily? Or when you knew you wanted to break your whole sullen and damaged routine to get her back … how did you do that?”

“You’re sleeping with Ryan, huh?” Bowen doesn’t even bother looking at me.

“What the … no!” I try to sound offended or surprised, but I know my older brother is looking right through this defense.

“Don’t lie, Fletch. You’re shit at it since you got sober.”

I can’t argue with him there. “Fine. We may have … done something, but we’re not sleeping together.”

“You want to sleep with her, though, right?” Why does he have to be all up in my business?

“Yes,” I grumble reluctantly.

“Glad you’re finally admitting it. Forrest and I were taking bets on how much longer you were going to follow her around with your tail between your legs.” He chuckles.

“You guys are fucking assholes.”

Bowen rocks Molly, who is now snoozing in his arms. “Hey, language. There is a little girl present.”

“Sorry. But can you just be serious for a minute?” I feel like a pouting school kid.

“You really like her.” It’s not a question.

But I answer it anyway. “Yes. I do.”

“I didn’t think you two had spent much time together,” he points out.

“We’ve … gone on two dates so far. But, I’ve known her for years through Presley. We’ve talked. And of anyone, I think you’d understand that there is a connection you have with some people that is just unexplainable.”

My brother nods. “What’s the problem, then?”

“I’m not sure I know how to be with someone. Or how to introduce someone into my life