Nash Brothers Box Set - Carrie Aarons Page 0,149

what?” Now my mother’s voice gets a little screechy. “Why?”

This is the part I’ve been dreading, the part I never wanted to get to. I knew the minute I spilled my darkest secret to Lily that I’d also have to take it to my mother. Because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she never had any idea about the pact Dad made with Senator Grantham. When I tell her this, it will forever change the way she sees my father, and he’s not here to explain or defend himself. Speaking ill of the dead is usually not a wise thing, but my mother needs to know the whole truth.

“Because I kept the ultimate secret from her. The one that has separated us since the accident.” I take a deep breath, my stomach dropping as if I’m going over a cliff. “Dad made a promise with Senator Grantham, after our car crash. To keep us apart. To make sure that Lily and I, if we ever got back together … that we’d both be destroyed. They made a pact of mutually assured destruction, to expose our deepest secrets and ruin both of our futures.”

My mother’s eyes glaze over with tears, and she redirects her gaze out the big bay window in her living room. Her reaction is immediate, and my mother would never dare question me on this. She knows how little I’ve come to her, which is basically never. If I’m admitting something this detrimental to her, it’s not something I misheard or misunderstood because I was a teenager. My mother knows I’m telling the truth.

I hear her sniffle and see her shoulders shake. A lump of emotion forms in my throat, and I try to swallow it down. I’ve always been the one who needs her the least … and to come to her with this? It’s so unlike the relationship we have.

Growing up, I was always the independent one. Yes, most people would say that’s Forrest now, but I don’t mean the loner. I mean independent. Forrest and Fletcher were the babies, and twins at that, they needed her full attention for most of my childhood. Keaton was the oldest, and therefore her golden boy. He was the first, the one who made her a mom.

Don’t feel sorry for me, I don’t care about being the middle child. My mother and I just have a different relationship than my brothers do with her. But I still love her and keeping this secret for this long was not fair to her.

Mom shakes her head, turning back to look into my eyes. “Your father was a wonderful man. And at the same time, he made some terrible decisions. If that man wasn’t already in heaven …”

I look away, both ashamed that I never told her, and ashamed that I’m telling her something damaging after he’s gone. My conflicting emotions about my dad, ever since the day he told me about the pact he’d made with Lily’s father, have haunted me immensely after his death.

On one hand, he loved his family and would do anything to protect us. On the other, he took away the only thing I had left to live for after the accident. He altered the trajectory of my life forever.

Her small, warm hands grab my large ones, and the difference is stark. “Bowen, look at me.”

I do, because I’d never disobey her. This woman is the strongest person I’ve ever known.

“Your father was wrong. And God rest his soul … but he was wrong to do that to you. To make decisions like that, to give in to that horrible man’s threats. His protective instinct was misguided, and he wronged you. He took away the one person you loved most, even more than your brothers or me. I watched as you sat next to her bed day in and day out. Even while your world was imploding, you always stood by her side. You’re an amazing man, you were then and you are now. Do not let the mistakes of your father ruin the future you still have left.”

And now I break down. Because finally, one of my parents sees my pain. My mother is acknowledging me, just as I am, and she’s given me the outlet to lose it. Tears stream from my eyes, all the unspeakable words trapped inside my chest and my head flow out as silent sobs wrack my shoulders.

Mom huddles close, holding me to her, as she rubs my