when you’re sitting by yourself, you’re smiling, and now, I know why.”
“Oh, honey.” My thumb swiped at her tears. “You make me happy, just by being you.”
She nodded.
“But, yes … Becky makes me happy too.” I ducked into her line of sight because I needed her to believe me, to understand. “I love your mom. I think about her every single day …” It was the truth. Every time I looked at Mary, I saw her spitting image, or when Sarah said something witty, it would remind me of Nat. “No one can or ever will replace her.”
One warm hand patted my cheek. “I know. You don’t have to tell me or worry about me anymore because I’m a big girl.” She sat straighter in my lap as proof. “I know no one will ever replace Mommy, but I want you to know … I like Becky. She’s kind and fun, and she …” She looked like she was searching for the words when she said, “I dunno. She just fits.”
I blew out a breath of relief, of happiness, of gratitude for this child in front of me. “That she does, baby girl. That she does.”
Chapter 35
Becky
By the time Charles and Sarah entered the house, I was making dinner. Heat flushed my cheeks as I tried to make eye contact with Sarah and smile, but she hadn’t lifted her head, only skipped out of the room.
My eyes immediately met Charles’s as I took the cupcakes out of the oven.
“How is she?” My muscles tightened as I waited for his answer.
“Good.” He leaned against the counter and shook his head. “That girl … old soul, that one. She’s beyond her years.”
“She’s been through a lot.”
I knew from experience, as I’d also grown up fast, experienced a lot of hardships, heartache. The difference was, Sarah had a great support system around her. I’d had to fend for myself.
“Yeah, that’s true. First, losing Nat and then her grandparents.” His eyes traveled beyond me, somewhere over my shoulder.
“I’m glad she’s okay. What did she say about me and you and catching us …” My voice trailed off. “Charles …” I took a step toward him. While they’d been outside, in between making crafts with Mary, I’d decided that I would not cause drama in this house or any more heartache than they’d already gone through. When I’d moved in here, my job had been to make it easier for the Briskens, not fall for my boss. “Whatever is happening here … between us … I don’t want that to cause a disruption in this household. Maybe we need to take—”
He didn’t even give me a chance to finish my sentence because he was right in front of me, arms around my lower waist. He lowered his forehead against mine. “You don’t understand how much you saying that means to me. That you’d put the girls’ wants and needs above your own even though they’re not yours.”
I swallowed hard, feeling weak with him so near. “Of course. I care about them deeply. I love them.”
He took in a deep breath through his nose and then asked me, “Do you love me?”
His question was unexpected, and it caught me by surprise. Love? I breathed through the next few seconds, careful with my words. I placed one hand on his chest, flattening the collar of his shirt. Oh, how I wanted to say yes, but I’d said yes before and realized later that it was only a facade. So many people had left me or treated me badly, and though I knew Charles would never be that person, it was still difficult to tell if what I felt was real. It was difficult to trust my own emotions and thoughts because they were all jumbled anyway whenever I was around him. And maybe a big part of me didn’t want to jinx this—this epic happiness I’d been feeling simply by being with him.
“We’re new, and it’s amazing, but all that might not matter if the girls—”
“Sarah wants me to be happy.” He smiled. “I told you she was mature beyond her age. And what makes me happy is you, Becky.” His eyes shone with an inner glow, a surety of us that I didn’t have. “I know we’re new. I know this is going super fast. We just had our first date last weekend, but … I know what this is because I’ve been here before.”
He cupped my cheek, and I felt his touch everywhere.