I knew her. The girls knew her. Above that, we all loved her.
“Charles, please take a seat,” she said patiently.
I fell to my seat, but I wasn’t ready to admit defeat.
Her jaw tightened, and she angled her knees parallel to mine. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. It hasn’t been easy, but she doesn’t have that long, and it isn’t right that someone else is taking care of her. She’ll be transferred to a nursing home that has care round the clock, and I’ll be there with her every day.”
“Move Eleanor here.” Desperation was heavy in my tone. I couldn’t help it. “We have a ton of room. You want privacy? I’ll build you another wing. Forget the nursing home. I’ll hire in-home care.” I rubbed at my temple, the panic rising to my throat, threatening to choke me.
“Charles, I can’t uproot her from Florida.”
“Patty …” I was six-two, stocky like a football player, and the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I didn’t beg. Begging was not in my vocabulary, but now was a whole different story. “I’ll triple your salary.”
Patty gave me a look, one of those stern looks that she only gave the children. “You know you pay me more than enough. It’s not about the money. I have to do this.”
And as I stared into her eyes that held so much wisdom, I knew she had already made her decision. There was nothing I could say or do to change her mind. In the deepest part of me, even though I didn’t want to see it, I knew it was the right decision for her—to take care of her family—because that was the decision I would make.
I dropped my head and ran both hands through my hair. “I … I can’t possibly do this alone.” I breathed deeply through my nose and exhaled a shaky breath, my whole body trembling now. “I just … can’t.”
“Look at me,” she said harshly.
Instead, I closed my eyes tightly because in about two more seconds, I was about to lose it.
Our life was stable now. We’d had years of instability because tragedy hit us year after year, but now … things had finally subsided, evened out. Routines had been established. This would be another blow, another hiccup to the girls’ everyday lives, to my everyday life, to all of our normal.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d broken down. One of my greatest strengths was to keep my composure in the hardest of times because so many people depended on me. But today, as time dwindled down and Patty’s end date with us quickly approached, I panicked.
Leading a multimillion-dollar company did not make me nervous. But this—raising my girls by myself—made me so nervous that I wanted to throw up. Maybe if I’d had boys, I could have managed, but girls? I exhaled a shaky breath. What did three men know about raising girls?
“Charles …” She knocked on the table. “I’m waiting.”
I lifted my head to see Patty smiling at me.
“I’m glad you’re laughing at my misfortune.”
“If I thought for one second”—she pursed her lips—“that you weren’t capable, I wouldn’t leave you. I wanted to leave a year ago when my mother really got sick, but I couldn’t then, and you know why.”
“And I appreciate it, Patty.” I searched the heavens for some sort of sign from my angel.
God, did I miss her. Especially in moments like this.
“You know Natalie would be proud of you. You know that, don’t you? To do all of this by yourself and raise those beautiful girls.”
I sank into my chair, and my eyebrows pulled together. “That’s the thing. I’m not doing this by myself. You’ve been assisting me throughout it all. Since Natalie passed away, since my parents hired you on, you’ve been there.”
With one more attempt at making Patty stay, I picked up my beer bottle, dipped my finger in the bottle, and applied it to the bottom of my eyes. “I’m crying here, begging you to stay.”
I turned to face her, and she covered her mouth in laughter.
“Your desperation is showing now, Charles. You’re cracking jokes.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “I crack jokes.” Didn’t I? Maybe I wasn’t the best at it. I needed to get a joke book.
Sixty years of wisdom pushed through her eyes. “Charles, you’ll be fine for one reason alone. You love those little angels with all your heart, and you only want the best for them.”
I nodded, the panic still making things fuzzy. That was