he was, as it was coming from him in waves. It was in his eyes, which held such sadness.
I didn’t know what came over me or where all my courage came from, but I reached down and gripped his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Everything will be okay. I promise it will be,” I whispered. Because I had promised Patty it would be, that I would care for these children like they were my own.
He surprised me by intertwining our fingers in the most intimate of holds, though his gaze stayed on the group. “I know it will be. It has to. Because that’s my job—to make sure it is okay.” And I felt the weight of his responsibility in his voice.
At that, I held on tighter, hoping he could feel my own determination and little bit of strength there. I hated how he’d been dealt such bad cards in life, but he had to know, at least for the moment, that he didn’t have to go through this alone.
Just then, his gaze swung over to me, and I swore I had seen a ghost of a smile.
Or maybe it was just wishful thinking, but either way, my heart flipped and flopped.
Chapter 9
Charles
Becky was great with the girls when we came back from the airport. She played Barbie with Mary for at least an hour and built some sort of fortress with Sarah in an online forum.
After dinner, everyone was emotionally and physically exhausted from the long day of bidding Patty good-bye. Becky was getting the girls ready for bed, and I was cleaning the kitchen when Brad and Mason strolled in.
“Hey …” Mason said, approaching with his Cartier messenger bag over his shoulder. “I’m heading to Janice’s tonight, if that’s okay. It’s been a few nights since I’ve seen her.”
Brad scratched the top of his head. “Yeah. I wanted to go to the city tonight, too, and check on my place.”
I lifted my head from the sink, leveling them with a stare. “You don’t need my permission to leave.”
They ignored the statement.
“Do you want me to stay to help with the morning routine tomorrow?” Brad asked. “Because I can just go to the city tomorrow night.” He shared a secret glance with Mason, and it annoyed the hell out of me because this was what they did—worry about me when I was perfectly fine.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “No. We have Becky. She’ll be in charge of the morning routine, and I’ll be here, so …” I turned back to the sink of dishes and focused on rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher.
“It’s fine. I’ll stay,” Brad said, which made me slam the dishwasher shut.
Maybe it was unfair. They were simply concerned and looking out for me. But I was used to change. If anything, change was all I knew.
“Listen, I’m going to be okay tomorrow.” Plus Becky was here to assist with the girls.
When had I ever broken down? Okay, that one time—when Natalie had first died—but the boys hadn’t witnessed it, only my mother. I’d promised myself that it wouldn’t ever happen again, and it hadn’t. Maybe my mother had told them. I wouldn’t put it past her since we were so close.
“It will be fine,” I said slowly, so they would believe me and take the hint.
This was the thing about my brothers—they were always here. When our parents had died, they had moved in to help me raise the girls. What men in their mid-twenties uprooted their lives to raise two young girls? They had. They moved around their schedules, and at the very beginning, one of them was always here in the mornings to drop the girls at school, to help Patty get them ready. Both of them had been here at every milestone, attending most of their school concerts and events.
They made sure that they were present, and the girls didn’t feel any lack of support. And I appreciated them, truly … but a big part of me felt as though I was taking away a part of their lives. The guilt was overwhelming at times. It was a natural feeling I lived with; it surrounded me, and I’d accepted the fact that it would always be there.
I didn’t need to tell them how I felt because they knew, and they disagreed, still wanting to be ever present in the girls’ lives.
“Promise. If I need you guys, I’ll call.” I threw them a small smile for good measure.