In Name Only (Pine Falls #2) - Jennifer Peel Page 0,71

deserved to be treated. It was unfair to ask you to live as man and wife when I wasn’t ready. I was hurt and admittedly angry because of what happened between you and Brant. And quite honestly, not in my right mind when I got home. I’m still not. I had no business getting married. That said, I love you. I always have.”

“That’s not true. I have a list of women I approved for you that says otherwise.”

“Dani.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “It was always you. Do remember what my mother said about how I would change my life for you? She was right. I could have gone to medical school anywhere in the country. I had offers from all the big schools, but I stayed in Colorado because that’s where you were. During the gap year Brant and I took to travel the world before he went to law school and I went to medical school, I kept finding excuses to come back and visit you because I was miserable, wishing you were by my side enjoying the wonders of the world. I had a hundred job offers once I’d served my time in the army, but I came back here because of you. Do I need to go on?”

“No,” I squeaked out through my tears. I could scarcely believe what he was saying. All that time, I had wished and hoped yet believed I would be eternally his friend. “Then why? Why the other women? Why the waiting?”

He leaned his head back against the tiled wall. “Because I was a selfish bastard. Were there complications because of the way Brant felt for you? Yes. But ultimately, I wanted it all. The career, the accolades, freedom to do as I pleased untethered. All those women—that was just me running from the one woman I truly wanted. I knew if I started that kind of relationship with you, I could never walk away from it, and I stupidly thought settling down would hold me back. In the end, it all left me feeling hollow. When I was tied up in that hellhole, thinking I would die, I realized how I had wasted my life. How self-centered I had been. I pleaded with God, promised him that if he would help me to survive, I would come home and not waste another second on myself. I would spend it loving you and making babies with you,” he choked out. “I didn’t keep my promise to him or you,” his emotion bled through, his tears falling and getting lost in his layers of scruff.

I reached out to him with my wet hand.

He took it like a lifeline. “Dani, you don’t understand how agonizing it has been to know that you didn’t feel like you could call me after you found out about losing the baby. That you suffered alone, to the detriment of your life, all because I was too prideful to let go of what happened between you and my brother.” He kissed my hand and lingered with my palm pressed to his face. “I love you. It may have been a mistake to marry so quickly, but it wasn’t a mistake. I don’t want a divorce,” he pleaded.

“Brock, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” I cried. “I don’t have anything to offer you. I feel so dead inside. And I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for that night with Brant. For all the lies I’ve been telling since then. Our marriage being the biggest lie of them all.”

He let go of my hand and reached for something in his pocket—a small velvet black box. He held it up for me to see. “I bought this before I left for Afghanistan. I happened to walk past that little antique jeweler in downtown Pine Falls. The one who gave a large donation last year for Children to Love. I saw this ring in their window display case. It had your name written all over it. I bought the ring for when I finally worked up the courage to propose to you. My captivity may have made me realize that I was done delaying being with you, and everything that happened with my family may have forced things to happen sooner than they would have, but even before I left, the plan was to have you as my wife.” He opened the box to reveal a beautiful but simple filigree diamond ring