In Name Only (Pine Falls #2) - Jennifer Peel Page 0,69
mean you should stop living. Look around you. Look at the people who love you, who you have touched. Read the cards from your students—all the children whose lives you’ve made better because you mothered them when they needed you the most. Dani, you lost your baby, but think of what the children who look to you for help would lose if you gave up. You’ve been a mother already to many. And you will continue to be, if you choose it.”
I dared to look around the room at all the flowers and cards that had been sent to me. They’d come in a variety of colors and sizes. From large rose bouquets to simple carnation arrangements. Even the cards that were stacked on my nightstand varied greatly. Kinsley had hung up some of the pictures several children had drawn me. I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge them, since I felt so undeserving. I hadn’t just lost my baby—I had lost my way and done things I wasn’t proud of. Honestly, I hadn’t wanted to feel good about myself. It was easier to feel dead inside.
One of the pictures struck me. It was of me and Amelia Anne holding a baby boy. I knew exactly who it was from because last year all Amelia Anne wanted for Christmas was to see her baby brother who had been born while their mother was incarcerated. The baby had gone to a different family than Amelia’s. I’d arranged for a special meeting between the two families. When we’d placed that baby in Amelia’s arms, she’d cried and smothered him in kisses. She kept saying, “I’m so happy. I’m so happy.” It was the most precious scene of my life. I had worked this past year to make sure Amelia and her brother were adopted by the same family, and miracle upon miracle, they were last month. On the bottom of the picture, Amelia had written the same thing she’d said last Christmas: I’m so happy.
I wanted to be happy again.
I wiped my eyes and sniffled.
“What do you need from us?” Ariana asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe we could start with a shower,” Kinsley suggested with a smile.
I softly laughed. “That would probably be a good idea.”
“While you’re at it, you need to talk to your husband,” Grandma more than suggested.
“He’s not really my husband,” I whispered through the ache.
“Please.” Ariana waved her hand. “I don’t care what you say. He didn’t marry you because you were pregnant. The man was a mess when he couldn’t get ahold of you last week. He was desperate to find you. He called all of us, and then, when we couldn’t find you, he almost called the police. Do you know how many times we’ve caught him sitting outside your door this past week, listening for any sign that you needed him?”
I shook my head. I had no idea.
“You should have seen him in the hospital waiting room while you were in surgery,” Kinsley added to the commentary. “He kept saying he would never forgive himself if something happened to you. He wanted us all to know how much he loves you.”
That was all well and good, but they had no idea about the lie we had been living. The tangled web we were trapped in. They couldn’t know about the baby and Brant.
“And,” Kinsley continued, “he’s been camping out in the living room for days now. Which is sweet but kind of hard to bring your date home to. I don’t think Brock likes Tristan all that much.”
I didn’t think that was it. I think it was that he knew how Brant truly felt about Kinsley. Despite that, I was happy for my sister. Happy? What a novel concept. Yet, I was happy for her. “Ah, Kins, I’m sorry if we ruined your time with Tristan before he flew back to England.”
She gave me a coy smile. “We found other ways to have alone time.” She blushed. “Besides, he’s coming back next month for Thanksgiving. He wants to see what the fuss is about our American holiday.”
“I think he just wants to see you again,” Ariana wisely stated.
“I think so too.” Kinsley twirled her beautiful blonde hair. She was absolutely radiant. It eased some of my guilt.
“Let’s get you out of bed and into the shower.” Grandma was a woman of action.
“I’ll make you something to eat,” Kinsley offered. “And this time you’re going to eat it.” She could sound tough when she wanted to.