In Name Only (Pine Falls #2) - Jennifer Peel Page 0,106

to me and Brock next. He stopped right in front of me and gave me a good once-over. “Looks like someone finally remembered who she was.” He gave me a wink and walked off without another word. It was just like him.

“What did he mean?” Brock asked me.

I thought back to a conversation Grandpa and I had had many years ago when I’d first come to live with them. He had told me I was the master of my own destiny. That I needed to learn how to act instead of reacting. When I’d married Brock, I’d been reacting to my circumstances. Grandpa must have known. But choosing Brock now was an act of my own agency.

I put my arms around Brock’s waist. “I think he was referring to how good Dani Holland sounds.”

“I know it’s my favorite name.”

I laid my head against Brock’s chest. He was home. He was my choice.

Brock rested his chin on my head. “You know, we need to get a Christmas tree so I have somewhere to place your gift. I’m almost finished with it.” He sounded so proud of himself.

“I can’t wait to see what it is.”

“I hope you like it. It might not be what you expect, especially now.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it didn’t matter. “I know I’ll love it.”

“It’s time for a toast,” Jonah called, to no one’s surprise.

We all laughed and groaned.

Jonah paid no attention to us as he and Ariana handed out steaming hot mugs of wassail to those of us who didn’t have one. Except to Whitney, of course, and Ariana. They both got sparkling cider.

With drinks in hand, we all stood around the decorated tree that was now filled with stained glass dinosaurs of all types and colors. Coordinating bows were woven in. It was the cutest tree. One for the books, for sure.

I loved looking around at all the faces lit up by the Christmas tree lights. These were all the people I cared for most in the world, minus Sheridan. An indescribable joy could be felt in this room with all of us together. Even Brant’s eyes didn’t look so hollow surrounded by such love.

Jonah raised his Santa mug. “What a ride this year has been. I know we have all had our ups and downs. Great triumphs and crushing defeats. We’ve won some, and we’ve lost some. We’ve laughed and cried. But this I know: I couldn’t imagine a greater group of people to go through life with.”

I couldn’t agree more.

“May we each have a Merry Christmas,” he continued. “And may the New Year bring us happiness and peace and”—he gave his wife a sly grin—“a healthy, happy baby.”

“Hear! Hear!” we all roared.

A great hope swelled within me. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t fear it. I welcomed it with open arms, anxious to see what the future held for me and my family.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“Robert Frost wrote, ‘Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in,’” the pastor’s words rang through the chapel during Christmas Eve’s midnight service. There was a smattering of laughter among the congregation.

“For some of us, home brings thoughts of warmth and happiness. For others, it can inflict painful memories. Regardless, each of us can find a home with God. He welcomes all into his house. He takes everyone in.”

I stared at the stained glass starburst dove I had been infatuated with. Tonight, it was particularly beautiful in the glow of all the candles burning throughout the church. The effect made the dove look as if she were soaring, free of the chains that had been holding her to the ground. Or maybe it was only a reflection of how I felt. It was the first time in months I had felt at home in this chapel. The pavilion that had kept me from God had finally shattered because I’d remembered who I was and that I had worth even though I made mistakes, big and small. The pastor’s words spoke reassurance to my soul that God would take me in too. That he had the power to heal and to forgive. And if he could forgive, I should certainly forgive myself.

“Because of his son, a babe born in Bethlehem, we have all we need to come home.”

I snuggled closer to Brock. Thoughts of home and babies swirled in my mind. I thought about how much I wanted a baby with him, but also of