up every imaginable way tonight could go wrong, and now I was basically convinced there was no way anything could possibly go right.
I glanced at the clock on the microwave.
7:25.
Oh fuck.
Devin said he’d be here at 7:30. Assuming he got here on time, I had five minutes to calm myself down. Or work myself up even more. If he was late, then I had more than five minutes, and that would be plenty of time to come up with a few dozen more ways this could—
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly.
At least I was no longer sweating over the thought of my junk not stacking up to his. Though if I got too nervous and couldn’t get it up…
“Goddammit,” I muttered into my kitchen as I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and forefinger. Nerves hadn’t kept me from getting hard on FaceTime, but I’d also known that I could bail on a split second’s notice. I could “drop the call.” My battery could “die.” If we were in the same room and he had my underperforming dick in his hand, then there really wasn’t any bowing out gracefully and pretending the technical difficulties were phone-related.
And now that I was freaking out about it, I’d keep freaking out about it, and now I probably wouldn’t be able to get hard, and—
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I whispered. Everyone else could hook up without falling apart. Why couldn’t I?
My phone vibrated.
Just parked. On my way up.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh fucking God. I inhaled deeply through my nose, let it out through my mouth, and told myself over and over and over again that there was nothing to be nervous about. I just needed to get a grip.
My doorbell rang, and I took another deep breath before I headed for the door.
I can do this. I can do this like a normal person. I can do this.
After one last deep breath, I opened the door.
As soon as I met Devin’s eyes, my nerves intensified, but so did my need for him. I stood aside and gestured for him to come in. I sent up a quick little prayer that the night didn’t end in disaster as I closed the door behind him, then put on a smile that hopefully didn’t betray how freaked out I was. “You, um…want something to drink? I’ve got coffee, beer…”
Devin swallowed, shaking his head. “No, no, I’m fine. Thanks.” He smiled, and—wait, was he nervous too?
“Okay. Well, um.” I cleared my throat. “I think I could stand some water.” I started toward the kitchen, but a gentle hand on my elbow stopped me.
“Wait,” he whispered, and he was suddenly close, so close, and he didn’t give me a chance to panic before he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed me.
Oh. God. Getting hard was definitely not a problem. Not right now. I was still nervous, but holy hell, I wanted this, and I wanted him. My body was responding without giving a damn what my brain had to say about it.
He broke the kiss and looked in my eyes, his expression a little dazed. “I just needed to do that,” he whispered. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since that night in your car.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded as the tip of his tongue darted across his lips. “What can I say? I really like the way you kiss.”
“Do you?” A little more confident now, I touched his face. “Likewise.” Then I kissed him again, and that soft moan that vibrated against my lips as he melted into my arms was seriously the sexiest thing ever.
When we came up for air, he was breathing as hard as I was, and whispered, “Did you, um, still want that water?”
“What water?” I murmured. He grinned against my lips, wrapping his arms around my neck, and there was no holding back anymore. There was no console between us. No one to bust us. No reason to stop. Even my nerves seemed to be mostly MIA now, and I took full advantage, pressing Devin up against the wall and kissing him hungrily, just the way I’d been imagining it. He responded with a muffled moan and rocked his hips just right to rub our clothed cocks together. Apparently I wasn’t the only one having zero trouble getting hard tonight.
Every time we’d talked or texted, I’d felt a little less like my inexperience would scare him off or turn him off, but now that he was here… Now that