On My Way - Eve Langlais Page 0,45
grimaced. “I thought it was hard to date in small town USA, but lost-in-the-wilds Ontario is even more challenging. I swear the average age of the men in town is like sixty, and now I might be related to some of them.” Her lips turned down.
“If you’re that worried about dating a cousin, you could always ask for a DNA test. There’s all kinds of places doing them now,” I stated. Might not be a bad idea. Darryl claimed to have lived here awhile. Could he be related to me? Would it matter? It wasn’t as if we’d be having kids.
I almost blushed as I realized I’d assumed we’d end up having sex. I’d have to make it past chaste kisses first.
“Don’t do it! Everyone knows the government is collecting that data to use against us.” Trish spouted a conspiracy I’d heard before.
“Use it how? It’s not as if we’ve committed any crimes.” At least I hadn’t, unless a little bit of speeding counted.
Trish rolled her eyes. “Not yet, but you should be more worried that they might realize we aren’t one hundred percent human.”
I blinked. Even Winnie looked somewhat taken aback.
“Exactly what are we if not human?” I asked. “Part orc?”
“You’re not. And neither is Winnie.”
“Implying you are?” Times like these, I had to wonder about Trish.
“I’m many things.”
“Yes, you are.” I smirked.
Her lips clamped shut. “Are you making fun of me?”
“Come on, Trish. You gotta admit it sounds farfetched.”
“Just because you’re close-minded when it comes to things outside of your knowledge doesn’t make me a liar. I know a lot. More than you, that’s for sure.”
How had I managed to offend her so easily? I sighed. “I wasn’t trying to start a fight, Trish.”
That quickly, her anger deflated. “I know. It’s just hard for me to understand how two people who used to be so close ended up so far apart.”
“Not so far.” I put my hand on her arm. “And there is nothing wrong with us having different opinions so long as we respect each other. And I do respect you, Trish.”
“Argh,” Trish groaned. “How am I supposed to stay mad at you when you sound so logical?”
“Speaking of logic.” I pointed to the book. “Maybe instead of looking for a recipe we should get a UV light.”
Trish and Winnie looked at each other. “That’s brilliant. Let’s find one.”
“At this time of night?” I wrinkled my nose.
“Who says you need to go anywhere? You should ask the house,” Trish suggested. “You know it likes to give you what you need.”
“You mean like a garage with a car?”
Both their faces showed puzzlement. It was Winnie who said, “What are you talking about?”
“Am I the only one who never noticed the garage? What happened to the shed?”
“We don’t have a shed,” Winnie declared.
I took a sip of my burning drink. Either I was going senile or strange stuff was afoot. How could I have such vastly different recollections than other people? Could it really be magic? Or was I having hallucinations from swamp gas? Never mind there weren’t any swamps in the area.
“So how would I ask the house?” I had enough tequila in me to be game at this point.
“Ask it nicely. Hey, house, could you give a girl a hand?” Winnie suggested.
“Just demand it. A la peanut butter sandwich, I need a UV light,” Trish quoted, reminding me of the Sesame Street of my youth.
“This is crazy,” I said, and yet I closed my eyes. “House. Could you please provide us with an ultraviolet light?” I waited a second before cracking open an eye. “Did one appear?”
“It won’t just apparate. You’ll have to find it.” Trish’s tone had an eye-rolling hint to it.
Which led to us going on a scavenger hunt throughout the house, peeking in closets and cupboards and drawers, which was how Marjorie found us when she arrived.
“What on Earth are you looking for?” she asked to my ass, which was upended as I crouched to glance under the couch.
I’d not found any kind of UV device but did locate some dirt I’d missed when I cleaned up the plant Grisou knocked over the night before. I’d have to pull out the broom again since the house didn’t appear to be handling it. Odd. Usually it was pretty good at keeping itself clean.
Which reminded me, I’d have to take out the trash under the sink. It had gotten full after I dumped the plant in it, and no one had emptied it.
Who did that usually?