Oh my muscles. He’s got so many muscles they lay on top of each other like boulders. I imagine him in a fight and cringe for his opponent, quickly deciding not to tell him about Break. I may not like the guy, but I don’t want to kill him.
I turn around and show him my shoulder. “Do you like it?”
“It’s sick. Did it hurt?”
I sniff. “I could handle it.”
He nods approvingly. “I’m almost done. Hang out in here. I don’t want you outside.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Wise ass,” he mutters, leaning his head down on his arms.
“My ass is kind of wise.” I shake it. “Oh wise ass, can I call a cab? Outlook is good.”
Max stares at me in disbelief. “It totally says sit down and listen to me. After we’re done here we’ll go home. I promise. Is your mind off Kent?”
“Nope.” I sit down and ignore the eyes on me, swirling around in a chair. “Thanks for the tattoo, though.”
“Was Break respectful?”
“A perfect gentlemen,” I lie.
“Hmm,” he grunts. “I won’t kill him, if you’re worried about it.”
I smile ruefully. “What a prick.”
The entire room erupts with laughter. I join in, but the sound of everyone’s pleasure reminds me I’m currently lacking.
When we get back to Max’s place I excuse myself and go to my room. My phone is gone and I know damn well Becca took it with her. I take my clothes off angrily and put on something to sleep in. Sleeping comes only after I stare, unthinking, at the cat in the windowsill. I wake up to Becca’s hair in my face and the smell of drink on her breath. I push her off but she rolls over, snuggling me to her. I let her, because I feel so alone even my common sense can’t keep me company.
The sun shines in through the sheer curtains, burning my eyes. They’re raw from crying. It infuriates me that I can be this affected by another human being. There should be rules for this that prevent men from getting under our skin. It’s one thing for them to get into our hearts and minds, but our skin? They’re everywhere.
I get so annoyed I can’t stand being trapped in Becca’s arms another second. I roughly shove her off and roll over her snoring body. I sink to the floor and check if she’s still sleeping before going into her purse. My phone is on top. It’s off. I take it with me to the living room after a pee break and power it on.
The second my phone is on I am bombarded by text messages. There’s a few from Sam but I delete them without reading them. The rest of the messages are from a number I don’t recognize.
I hope this is your number Rain.
You can trust me.
I need you.
You’re different.
ANSWER ME!
I’m sorry.
Raina baby I’m so sorry.
I didn’t want this.
Your empty room killed me.
You’re killing me. This is the last message I can send to you so I’m going to make it count. I want you to know I’ve never cared about anyone the way I care about you. You brought me out of the fog Willow had wrapped around me. You showed me women aren’t all her. Some of you are amazing, sweet, smart-mouthed creatures. Waking up and seeing your room empty was like a knife in my heart. I missed you so badly I felt like you were gone for longer than a night. I can’t stand looking at myself for what I told you last night. And the worst part is you’re going to think it’s true, no matter how many times I tell you isn’t. It isn’t true Rain. You’re different. You’re so different I’ll never be the same. Please don’t let this be the last thing I say to you. I wasn’t done trying.
I can’t breathe. I don’t know how long I sit there breaking.
“Damn it, Raina!” Becca roars.
I look up at her with tears in my eyes. She reaches over and grabs my phone angrily.
“Did you read them all?”
I nod wordlessly.
“We’re changing your number.”
My heart bleeds in my chest. I fall over on the couch and stare at nothing. Max tries to rouse me, but it’s no use. I’m not hungry, I’m not thirsty, and his jokes are unwelcome. Claire offers me advice I don’t want and shots I don’t need. Becca’s constant growling drives me insane. What’s the point? I don’t have a job. Why should I get up, talk, or