My (Mostly) Fake Wedding - Penelope Bloom Page 0,36

gave me the eyeball equivalent of kicks in the shin.

“You’re going to make her sleep?” Luna’s face was scrunched while she tried to process what I’d said. She turned to Belle. “I hate naps, too. Mommy always says ‘I’ma knock you out if you pop out of that room one more time little missy!’”

Chelsea went a little red. “Mommy says that jokingly, you should add.”

Luna just shrugged.

Belle cleared her throat. “We should go ahead and start picking out tuxes.”

“All business today,” I said. “That’s a change of pace from yesterday.”

My comment drew curious looks from Chelsea and Milly.

Milly took me by the arm and pulled me aside. She was Chelsea’s best friend and an aspiring tennis pro. She had freckles dotting her upturned nose, which was currently scrunched in annoyance. “Chris. I know you’re not playing with a full deck, but you’re obviously making that woman uncomfortable. Would it kill you to take it easy?”

“I can’t control who gets uncomfortably aroused when they’re in the same room as me.”

Milly didn’t even glare, which was probably a sign that she’d been forced to endure me enough to build up a tolerance. “You’ve already corrupted Luna enough. Maybe try modeling a healthy adult relationship for a change?”

I spread my palms in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll try to behave.” More, at least.

One of the employees at the store took a liking to Luna and whisked her and Chelsea off so Luna could try on any dresses small enough for her.

Belle and Milly shadowed me as I browsed the tuxes.

“Okay,” I said after running my hand along a row of them. “So what will match your dress best? Black, or black? Or maybe something with a little touch of black would be nice?”

“It’s not even worth trying to explain it to you, is it?” Belle asked.

“It’s really not,” Milly said. “I’ve learned it’s easiest to deal with him if you just pretend he’s a giant, cute puppy.”

A few minutes later, Belle held a tux up to me, conferred with Milly, then nodded. “Go try this on.”

I took it and headed into a dressing room. She was trying to play it cold after last night and the incident with the spider. Honestly, I felt bad for the spider. Belle had been so horny she’d thrown the poor guy in the line of fire. What if I hadn’t listened and whacked him with a shoe? What would you even say at the funeral? Thanks for sacrificing yourself so momma could get that dick she needed so desperately.

But still, I had to admire the length’s she’d gone to for a little piece of action from me.

If she thought I was going to let things continue like nothing had happened, well… Then she really didn’t know me well enough yet.

I could hear her muttering with Milly about something outside the dressing room.

I stood there, racking my brain for some elegant, subtle way to let her know that I knew she still couldn’t stop thinking about me. But what was the perfect move?

That was when it hit me. Minus the subtle, elegant part, at least.

21

Belle

It felt like it had been too long. Milly was giving me tips on picking out shoes that wouldn’t hurt my feet—a subject she was apparently very passionate about. That was when I heard Chris at the door of the dressing room.

“Uh, Belle? Can you come in here a sec?”

Milly and I exchanged a look. We both must have assumed he just wanted help with a button or something, and Milly followed me in as I pulled the door open. We froze before we’d taken a step into the room.

Chris Rose was standing with his fists on his hips, naked as the day he was born. His proud smile faded when he noticed Milly was beside me. There was also a bowtie neatly done and tied to sit just above his...

Both our eyes went down to his extremely erect penis. I rushed forward, using my body to cover him from Milly, who appeared too stunned to react.

“Oh,” Chris said. “You should at least wait until she’s not in the room.”

Of course, in an effort to cover him up, I’d pressed myself against his naked body—and his erection, which was digging into my belly.

Milly started laughing hysterically just as I turned my head and saw Chelsea round the corner. Thankfully, they probably couldn’t see much anymore with me in front of him, but I could only imagine what Chelsea must’ve thought at the sight of us.

The