of it now. All I can do is just hope there isn’t a fuss.
When I’m done polishing, I decide I need some fresh air. I put on my boots and coat and head outside, strolling down the frosty driveway to the road. The sun is blinding but after days of rain, it’s exactly what I needed. I wish Padraig were out here with me because I noticed he gets more depressed the longer it rains, but he needs his sleep, too.
I end up walking for about an hour, past round stone huts surrounded by bramble, wide green fields dotted with sheep, rabbits running out from the thickets, blackbirds soaring up high. There are farms and colorful houses and everyone I see waves at me like they know me.
I could live here.
The thought surprises me, considering I’ve always been a city girl. But there’s a peace about this place. The way that life slows down just a little and people take the time to look you in the eye when they’re talking to you. Even Dublin doesn’t operate like an aggressive, go-go-go city. It’s soft and it’s kind and good for your heart.
So, great. Both this damn country and Padraig have totally and completely captured my heart and I’m helpless against it.
I head back to the house when my back starts to hurt and my hips feel stiff. I think about my physiotherapy sessions and how Padraig will likely start physiotherapy soon. Sounds awful to think, but a lot of his next steps rely on when his father will pass away.
Speak of the devil…
When I turn up to the B&B, I spot Colin sitting on the low stone wall that runs along the driveway. He’s just in a sweater and pajama pants, no coat, and as I get closer, I see he’s only got slippers on his feet.
I start hurrying over to him. “Mr. McCarthy,” I say anxiously. “Are you okay?”
“Colin,” he says in a dazed voice, his attention on a seagull that’s flying in the distance. “I’m to be yer father-in-law, then you should call me Colin. Or dad, I suppose. But let’s not bloody rush things.”
“Okay, Colin,” I say, trying not to be too pushy, “I should get you inside. You don’t even have shoes on.”
“I’m fine. I don’t feel the cold. I just wanted to be out here.” He finally looks at me and his eyes are red. He looks awful and my heart sinks. “Sit down with me Valerie, just for a bit. Then you can go back inside.”
“Okay. But just for one minute,” I tell him. “I’ll get Gail, if I have to.”
“Oh, please. I’ll go with ye. That Gail is an overbearing Holy Joe, ye know the like.” He licks his lips and turns his attention back to the sky. The bird is gone. “Can I ask you a question, Valerie?”
“Of course.”
“Where does the time go? Where does it bleed to? That’s what it does from the day yer born, ye know. Yer born and it bleeds out of ye until ye die.” He closes his eyes. “It seems just yesterday I was asking Padraig’s mother to marry me. And it seems only yesterday that she died. Now I’m here and I’m dying and it just goes so bloody fast, doesn’t it?”
I put my gloved hand on top of his bare one and give it a squeeze. “Come on. Let’s go inside. You’re not planning on dying today so don’t make it worse by catching a cold.”
To my surprise he follows, slowly getting to his feet. I loop my arm around his, supporting him, and walk him toward the house.
“Ye love my son very much, don’t ye?” he asks.
And now, I can answer truthfully. “With all my heart.”
After we walk a few more steps, he slows and looks at me. “I love him too, ye know. I wish there had been more time to show him that. That’s one of my biggest regrets.”
Tears are swimming in my eyes and I offer him a sad smile. “You need to tell him that. He’s a very lost and lonely man. He needs his father more than anything right now.”
I am so tempted to tell him about his diagnosis but I know I’m not supposed to and it would be wrong. Padraig has to tell him, if he’s going to at all. It might even be best to keep it from him, give his father one less thing to worry about.