He shakes his head. “She’s up the pole, ain’t she.”
“She’s not pregnant. We’re in love. I asked her to marry me and she said yes.” The lying makes me feel uneasy so I add, “Her name is Valerie and she’s lovely.”
He scoffs. “Valerie. And where is she from? Where did you find her?”
“We met a year ago in Dublin.”
“Ah, figures she’d be from the pale.”
“Actually, she’s from Philadelphia.”
“An American?” he says, looking more impressed than Nan did. “And so what on earth could she want with ye? She a rugby fan?”
“She doesn’t even know the rules. So, no.”
“Just a fan of you, then?”
“It appears so.”
“I suppose you want me to offer you congratulations or be proud of ye?” he asks tiredly.
I swallow hard. That would be nice, yes.
He sighs. “Well, congratulations then. Sorry I can’t be more chuffed about it. The painkillers stuff my head up a lot. Then there’s the whole dying thing.”
I wonder if he wasn’t dying if he’d still give a rat’s arse about my getting married or not. I need for this to matter to him.
I need to make him proud.
But I can’t force that. Perhaps it’s too early. Perhaps this is just the first stage of repairing what we had before it’s too late.
“Are ye in a lot of pain?” I ask.
“Sometimes. Like now. Usually when I wake up.” He tries to sit up straighter and jerks his chin to the dresser. “Yer Nan puts the medication up there, like she thinks I’m going to take it all at once and get smashed. Do me a favor and bring them over.”
I go over to the bottles and plop them down on my dad’s lap.
“Are they all for pain?”
He nods, slipping his glasses back on to read the label. “One is for my blood pressure. Apparently that’s still important. I dunno why. The rest are the good stuff.”
He’s fumbling with the lid of one, trying to open it but his hands are weak.
“Here, let me.” I take the bottle from him and try but the numbness and the tremors in my hand from earlier come back with a vengeance. I drop the bottle on the bed and quickly put my hand behind me to hide the shaking.
“What’s wrong with ye?” he asks, taking the bottle and frowning at me. “And I ain’t a cripple, ye know.”
“I’ll get you some water,” I tell him quickly, and with my good hand, I take the empty cup from beside his bed and head out into the kitchen. I run the tap for a few seconds and splash cold water on my face, trying to calm down. I pinch my eyes shut and take in a few deep breaths, water running over the tip of my nose, before I hold out my hand in front of me and look at it.
It’s still. Steady as a rock.
Like nothing happened.
Thank God, I think, and promptly fill up the glass with water.
“Did ye get lost?” my dad says as I come back in his room. “It’s been so long since you’ve been back, I wouldn’t have blamed ye.”
I give him the glass and watch him swallow his pills.
Then I surprise myself by asking, “Can I have a few of those?”
He coughs on his water. “What for? Are ye still in pain from the concussion?”
I nod. I lie. “Yeah.”
“I heard that ye were almost healed. That ye were going to be going back to the game soon.”
“It’s going to take some time. Meanwhile, I’ll be here and I’ll rest.”
He gives me a wry smile. “I doubt you’ll be resting if ye have yer wan here.”
I chuckle. “I don’t know about that. Nan is in charge and she’s placed us as far away from each other as possible.”
He takes out a handful of pills and places them in my palm. “Then you might need these after all. But don’t take them too often. One pill will do.”
“Thank you, Dad,” I tell him. “Do you need anything else?”
“I’m grand,” he says.
“Then I’ll see you at dinner?”
“If I’m not dead before then, yes.”
Even though my visit with my dad this afternoon didn’t go exactly as I’d hoped, I figured a few days with Valerie around and he might be as charmed by her as I am.
I also figured I’d have some time with Valerie alone before dinner, maybe to head into town and check out some shops or take a walk, but when I got back from the cottage, I ran into Nan