God, I need to come. I want to come so fucking hard inside ye.”
“Come,” I tell him through a throaty groan, knowing I’m seconds away, that I’ve always been seconds away. Before I can give myself a push, his hand slips down between our sweaty, writhing bodies and gives my clit a hard rub, and that’s it.
I’m soaring again, spread into infinity, clenching around him like I’m trying to keep him inside me forever. “Oh god!” I scream, the orgasm sneaking up on me and getting stronger and stronger as it continues to tear me apart. “Fuck, fuck!”
I don’t know what’s going on. I’m boneless. I’m suspended in air. My cells are shot out into space. My limbs are convulsing, violent and surprising, and my words trail off until it sounds like I’m speaking in tongues.
Padraig goes off with a hoarse grunt that fills the room, holding on to my hips with a vice-like grip as he pumps everything he has inside me. Through dazed and disbelieving eyes, I watch as his mouth drops open and his neck goes back, exposing his strong throat. His mountain-like shoulders are held back with strain, the muscles in his arms and chest shaking as he empties himself into the condom.
Holy fuck.
I can’t.
Can’t even think.
I’m somewhere on the ceiling now, looking down like I’m having an out of body experience. I’m not even real anymore.
Then Padraig lets out a long, low exhale and nearly collapses on top of me, the hard, sweaty planes of his body pressing against the soft curves of mine, his face buried in the pillow beside me.
“Valerie,” he says, voice clipped and hoarse. “I…”
“Yeah,” I tell him, licking my lips, trying to breathe. “That was…”
“Fuck,” he whispers, lifting his head enough and planting his elbows on either side of my body. He stares at me with sated awe. “Bloody hell, that was the best fuck I’ve ever had.”
I can only grin at him in response. His eyes have changed from dark and tormented to shiny and light, like there’s a peace inside them. The fact that I did that, that I brought him this peace and escape that he needed, means something to me, even if it shouldn’t.
He kisses me lightly on the lips and then carefully pulls out. He gets up, disposes of the condom, and asks if I want my glass of wine from downstairs.
I’m not sure what I say in response. I feel flayed and spent, and my brain keeps pulling me toward sleep. I always thought if I had a one-night stand it would be awkward and I’d be running to the door. But I feel comfortable here, like falling asleep in Padraig’s bed is the most natural thing in the world.
When he returns with the drinks, I’m already half-asleep and forget that I’m lying completely naked on his bed. He flicks on the side table lights and I flinch, immediately reaching for the sheets to cover myself.
“Don’t,” he says, grabbing my wrist. “Don’t hide yourself.”
Even though the lights have a flattering glow, I don’t even think I laid around naked like this with Cole without hiding my legs or my stomach with something. I roll onto my side so at least I have that hourglass shape going on.
“Does it make ye uncomfortable?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me, completely naked still. He doesn’t care that his cock is just hanging out, that he’s naked. His confidence is inspiring. Then again, he doesn’t even get any stomach rolls when he’s sitting down—there’s no fat, just muscle. He’s built like he should be in a museum, carved out of the finest stone, works of art for the world to study and nod and go “now that’s what a man is supposed to look like.”
I glance down at my body and can’t fathom how it could look good to him. “I know I shouldn’t be uncomfortable. I know that you’re not supposed to lack confidence.”
He puts his hand on my waist and slowly, tenderly, runs it over the curve of my hips. “Who says what you’re supposed to be? Supposed to feel?”
I close my eyes and sigh, letting the warmth of his palm sooth me. “Everyone. If I talk about it, it seems like I’m complaining. My sisters don’t have a lot of patience for it. My friends gently tell me to get over it. It’s like if you’re not strong all the time, you’re not a real woman or something. I don’t