My Life as a Holiday Album (My Life as an Album #5) - L.J. Evans Page 0,53
normal newlywed challenges.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d thought about this―that Brett and I had thought about it. It was hard not to think about it when we’d already experienced dirty looks and comments flung our way, but it was even harder to have the people I loved most acknowledging it as one of the first things they saw about us. Not our love, but our differences.
“Contrasts,” I said.
“What?” Mama asked.
“Uncle Lonnie told me, once, it was my specialty. Showing the world contrasts. Exposing differences as unified parts of the same whole.” I said it quietly but full of resolve. It was ridiculous to assume I could face millenniums of racism with a photograph and determination, but I was determined our life would do exactly that: show the beauty of us to the world.
I raised Brett’s hand to my lips, kissed it, and then let go. I moved toward my parents and curved my hand over their joined ones.
“That’s what Brett and I are. We may appear to be a contrast, but we’re really just love. One whole. I know that for sure because I’ve had a wonderful model of what love should look like in front of me my entire life. And I’ve found that in Brett. He’s me, and I’m him. Like you are each other. I don’t want to go months without that other part of myself. I don’t want to go a day without seeing him. And right now, while he’s at flight school, I can do that. I can save up for the times when he’s on assignment and I’ll be without him. For every moment of every day that we can be together, that’s what I want. Him. Us.”
Mama was crying now, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she pulled me into her. Daddy wrapped his arms around both of us and said into my hair, “Okay, baby girl. Okay.”
We stood there, arms wrapped around each other, until Brett cleared his throat behind us. I let go of my parents and went to him. He hugged me to his chest, and I held on tight to him―joining us. Daddy rose from his seat and stuck his hand out to Brett. They shook, eyes locked, as if they could see into each other’s souls, and maybe they could. Love defending love.
“I’m counting on you to take care of our baby. To shelter her from the storms. To bring her joy.”
Brett nodded. “I promised to love and cherish her through it all, and I mean to do just that.”
Daddy nodded and let go of Brett’s hand.
“And if you have those papers drawn up,” Brett added. “I’d like to sign them. I don’t want anyone to question why we did this. Why I did this. It’s because I can’t live my life without her, and I don’t give a damn about anything else.”
“Fair enough,” Daddy said. Then he looked at me. “You’ve hurt your mother. You excluded her from your special day in a way that’s hard for me to get past.”
I gulped, more tears appearing in my eyes.
“Don’t do it again. She deserves to be a part of your moments. All of them.”
I knew he was right. I knew I’d let my past overcome me. I’d let my fears grow into a monster I’d been unable to vanquish. I should have invited my family to my wedding. I should have asked them to stand by me like they always had, even when I’d been wrong. Even when I’d been dragged to the police station for the graffiti on the high school wall. They’d never abandoned me before.
“I promise,” I told him, meaning it. I was going to let go of the past and keep everyone I loved close together. Brett’s family. My family. All of us together.
Brett
I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM
“What do I care how much it may storm?
Oh, I've got my love to keep me warm.”
Performed by Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Written by Irving Berlin
Eliza’s dad was right and wrong to chastise her for excluding them from our wedding. Her fears had gotten to her. My selfishness had gotten to me. I hadn’t pushed her when I should have, but I also wasn’t going to let him make her feel bad about our decision. Not on my watch.
“While you may not agree with our decisions―and we’re mighty sorry they hurt you and her mama―they were still Eliza’s choices to make,” I told him.